I don't know what it is about driving, but I just hate long boring drives...especially when I have done them so many times I don't know what to do with myself during that time.
I have tried blasting my music, rolling my windows down just enough to annoy me, seeing that I'm driving mostly on a 70 mph highway most of the way, turning on the heat/air conditioning to wake me up somehow and singing along with the music.
When I am tired, no matter what I have tried to do, nothing seems to help me. I notice that I have no conscious idea of how fast/slow I'm driving, which is awful, and no matter what kind of music I am blasting I still feel like I could doze off any minute. I have even tried slapping myself, but all that does is temporarily sting my cheeks.
Well on a desparate whim, one drive back to Greenville I thought maybe I could wake myself up by masterbating, haha. It felt right, Maroon 5 was serenading me with "Harder To Breathe," which actually just popped up on shuffle. I just thought, awe what the hell if this doesn't do the trick I will just turn on the Wicked Soundtrack, because for some reason that album always wakes me up. Well, masterbation was a very good idea, with my cruise control on of course. I was definitely awake after those few minutes of self pleasure and thankfully made it back to Greenville safely, haha.
Life lesson: I just need to get enough sleep, so I will not feel like I am about to fall asleep at the wheel driving to and from Greenville, haha. If that is not an option, masterbating always will be. ;)
Monday, April 4, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Some People Never Change!
Alright, so normally I do not get irritated by people's bull shit, but ever since I stopped being friends with this girl, Jillian, my freshman year of college she has been the thorn in my side.
I know it is bad to talk shit about people, but let's be real, everyone does it every once in a while and today I feel like shit talkin'.
I guess it all started when I became a "bad friend" Spring Break '09. The night before we had to leave the 3 girls I was hanging with decided to drink heavily, which is okay, but Jillian does not know how to hold her liquor. After 4 consecutive shots of Southern Comfort she was not walking anymore but crawling on the sidewalk outside. I guess I am a "bad friend" because I did not really feel like babysitting over my spring break, but I did anyways. I helped Jillian get to the bathroom twice (with the boys help). After the first time the boys and I got her onto a bed and she cried for the LONGEST time about wanting to call her ex-boyfriend and it was so ridiculous that we even tried to get her to give us his number so she would shut up, but she could not get past the first digit.
Both times she was in the bathroom I helped her pull her pants down and the second time while on the toilet, I handed her a trash can to throw up in...a bad friend would have left Jillian out on the side walk to piss and vomit on herself. But I guess she did not take that into account. All the while the two girls she considered to be better friends than I were outside still drinking with their neighbor.
I did a lot that night after Jillian threw up. I am not good when it comes to vomit and I am almost always near panic attack mode when I am near someone throwing up. So after Jillian proceeded to throw up I asked one of the guys to hold the trash can for a second while I went outside to get some fresh air. Well, when Jillian finally was situated off of the toilet and I once again helped her put her pants on...which was a 3-man job: 1 guy holding the trash can she was throwing up in, 1 guy holding her up, and I pulling her pants up...she then was kneeling to the porcelain thrown. I thought in my panicked mind that it would be okay to just throw away the trash can she threw up in...I mean I sure as hell was not going to clean to jelly bean vomit chunks out of the bag less trash can. So, I threw the trash can away...maybe an hour later one of the drunk girls freaked out because I threw away her trash can and went diving in her trash to get the vomit soiled trash can, for the bathroom, out of the trash that I had thrown away. I know it was not the smartest idea, but I planned on buying them a new trash can, but whatever, she went into the trash to get that nasty shit out. One of the guys then dumped the vomit down the kitchen sink and used the disposal to get rid of it...this is just fucked up to reminisce, but true story. I went into the kitchen after him and started to clean the dishes to get my mind off of everything that had just happened. Also to get the house ready because we were leaving the next day.
Well after such an eventful night, you can imagine how much I was ready to go home. When Jillian woke up she said she still felt like she was going to throw up and since I knew the boys were going the same way she was to get home I asked if they could take her because I did not want her to vomit in my car. They all agreed and took her home.
I know that letting them take her home when she rode with me on the way there was a little messed up, but honestly I cannot deal with someone bitching for a four hour drive about something they did to themselves.
Jillian and I did hang out after that, but there was just one day during the fall where I just thought everything me and this girl's friendship was based on was worthless, so I deleted her and blocked her from my Facebook. She called me multiple times after finding that out, leaving me rude voicemails about if I wanted attention deleting her from Facebook was not the right way to do it and just petty bull shit like that. She also like to send me rude text messages and was just very ignorant and rude, so I also blocked her from my phone.
Since we had not talked to each other in almost 2 years, I thought it would be okay to unblock her and just see if there was anything said about me while we were not friends and low and behold I found this picture:
Well, I thought it was hilarious, so I requested to tag myself. My request was declined so I just went ahead and took the picture edited it so the one on the left was added so you knew it is really me behind that blue circle and then tagged myself.
Lastnight, Jillian decided to message me on Facebook, just like old times and talk shit to me, but it is whatever because everything she has said has been childish...she is what? 22-23 years old and still acting like a child.
Some people never change! If Jillian really was mature, she would not be sending me belittling messages right now or blame that photo-editing on another one of her friends even though it is in one of her Facebook photo albums. If she was mature she would not blatantly lie about something when I clearly checked it out and saw that what she said was not true. I mean c'mon! Leave me out of your life if you intend on continuing to act like an elementary school kid because I am in college and came here for my education, not for toxic friendships with people who do everything BUT care about school.
The friends that I have now know that I am in no way a "bad friend" and will attest, in fact, that I am a great friend to have in their lives. I do not need anyone to tell me that I am mature because I know that I have grown up since my freshman year of college.
Reflecting on this blog and summing it up in one quote would have to be: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Suess
I know it is bad to talk shit about people, but let's be real, everyone does it every once in a while and today I feel like shit talkin'.
I guess it all started when I became a "bad friend" Spring Break '09. The night before we had to leave the 3 girls I was hanging with decided to drink heavily, which is okay, but Jillian does not know how to hold her liquor. After 4 consecutive shots of Southern Comfort she was not walking anymore but crawling on the sidewalk outside. I guess I am a "bad friend" because I did not really feel like babysitting over my spring break, but I did anyways. I helped Jillian get to the bathroom twice (with the boys help). After the first time the boys and I got her onto a bed and she cried for the LONGEST time about wanting to call her ex-boyfriend and it was so ridiculous that we even tried to get her to give us his number so she would shut up, but she could not get past the first digit.
Both times she was in the bathroom I helped her pull her pants down and the second time while on the toilet, I handed her a trash can to throw up in...a bad friend would have left Jillian out on the side walk to piss and vomit on herself. But I guess she did not take that into account. All the while the two girls she considered to be better friends than I were outside still drinking with their neighbor.
I did a lot that night after Jillian threw up. I am not good when it comes to vomit and I am almost always near panic attack mode when I am near someone throwing up. So after Jillian proceeded to throw up I asked one of the guys to hold the trash can for a second while I went outside to get some fresh air. Well, when Jillian finally was situated off of the toilet and I once again helped her put her pants on...which was a 3-man job: 1 guy holding the trash can she was throwing up in, 1 guy holding her up, and I pulling her pants up...she then was kneeling to the porcelain thrown. I thought in my panicked mind that it would be okay to just throw away the trash can she threw up in...I mean I sure as hell was not going to clean to jelly bean vomit chunks out of the bag less trash can. So, I threw the trash can away...maybe an hour later one of the drunk girls freaked out because I threw away her trash can and went diving in her trash to get the vomit soiled trash can, for the bathroom, out of the trash that I had thrown away. I know it was not the smartest idea, but I planned on buying them a new trash can, but whatever, she went into the trash to get that nasty shit out. One of the guys then dumped the vomit down the kitchen sink and used the disposal to get rid of it...this is just fucked up to reminisce, but true story. I went into the kitchen after him and started to clean the dishes to get my mind off of everything that had just happened. Also to get the house ready because we were leaving the next day.
Well after such an eventful night, you can imagine how much I was ready to go home. When Jillian woke up she said she still felt like she was going to throw up and since I knew the boys were going the same way she was to get home I asked if they could take her because I did not want her to vomit in my car. They all agreed and took her home.
I know that letting them take her home when she rode with me on the way there was a little messed up, but honestly I cannot deal with someone bitching for a four hour drive about something they did to themselves.
Jillian and I did hang out after that, but there was just one day during the fall where I just thought everything me and this girl's friendship was based on was worthless, so I deleted her and blocked her from my Facebook. She called me multiple times after finding that out, leaving me rude voicemails about if I wanted attention deleting her from Facebook was not the right way to do it and just petty bull shit like that. She also like to send me rude text messages and was just very ignorant and rude, so I also blocked her from my phone.
Since we had not talked to each other in almost 2 years, I thought it would be okay to unblock her and just see if there was anything said about me while we were not friends and low and behold I found this picture:
Lastnight, Jillian decided to message me on Facebook, just like old times and talk shit to me, but it is whatever because everything she has said has been childish...she is what? 22-23 years old and still acting like a child.
Some people never change! If Jillian really was mature, she would not be sending me belittling messages right now or blame that photo-editing on another one of her friends even though it is in one of her Facebook photo albums. If she was mature she would not blatantly lie about something when I clearly checked it out and saw that what she said was not true. I mean c'mon! Leave me out of your life if you intend on continuing to act like an elementary school kid because I am in college and came here for my education, not for toxic friendships with people who do everything BUT care about school.
The friends that I have now know that I am in no way a "bad friend" and will attest, in fact, that I am a great friend to have in their lives. I do not need anyone to tell me that I am mature because I know that I have grown up since my freshman year of college.
Reflecting on this blog and summing it up in one quote would have to be: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Suess
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Valentine's Day Singledom
Valentine's Day was yesterday, as we all know. I am single and have never really had a Valentine other than family and friends, but honestly it is not that big of a deal to me. I pretty much celebrated singledom yesterday by going to class and eating lunch with a Brother and her boyfriend. I had an exam after lunch, which I am pretty sure I beasted, and then I went home. :)
I then sat around for a bit thinking about how beautiful the weather was and then thought that my Valentine to myself would be a Love It size of Birthday Cake Remix from Cold Stone. I called up a friend while I ate my ice cream outside in the beautiful sunshine. It was so fucking delicious!!!
*Mental Note* I need to call my friends more often!
It was turning out to be a great day. I almost forgot about a Small Group meeting I had, but I ended up making it on time. Life can be chaotic, but I tend to try and make the best out of it.
After that, I went home and sat in my apartment and got to thinking, which is never a good sign. I started to feel the singledom blues and thought I had to do something for myself to feel better. So, I made myself a nice dinner consisting of spaghetti with my family's homemade meat sauce and cheesy garlic bread. I don't know what it is about pasta, but it always seems to be a comforting meal for me.
After all my cooking and cleaning I received the text message that gave me a big grin. The guy I like sent me "Hey happy valentines day" I know it was such a small thing, but I was so happy he said it first; I didn't have to say it first, ya know? I went to bed that night in a very good mood.
I also went to bed in an amazing mood because I own a pair of vibrating panties (yes like from The Ugly Truth) and I wore those for a little while, while I listened to John Mayer serenade me into good, good, good vibrations. Haha. Singledom = Masturbation on Valentine's Day.
It is just something I live with and it is a natural way to feel good. True Life.
Anyways, on a final note, I hope all my friends had a great Valentine's Day, single or not, it is just another greeting card holiday that people put too much thought into, but is worth celebrating in some way (CHOCOLATE!) haha.
I then sat around for a bit thinking about how beautiful the weather was and then thought that my Valentine to myself would be a Love It size of Birthday Cake Remix from Cold Stone. I called up a friend while I ate my ice cream outside in the beautiful sunshine. It was so fucking delicious!!!
*Mental Note* I need to call my friends more often!
It was turning out to be a great day. I almost forgot about a Small Group meeting I had, but I ended up making it on time. Life can be chaotic, but I tend to try and make the best out of it.
After that, I went home and sat in my apartment and got to thinking, which is never a good sign. I started to feel the singledom blues and thought I had to do something for myself to feel better. So, I made myself a nice dinner consisting of spaghetti with my family's homemade meat sauce and cheesy garlic bread. I don't know what it is about pasta, but it always seems to be a comforting meal for me.
After all my cooking and cleaning I received the text message that gave me a big grin. The guy I like sent me "Hey happy valentines day" I know it was such a small thing, but I was so happy he said it first; I didn't have to say it first, ya know? I went to bed that night in a very good mood.
I also went to bed in an amazing mood because I own a pair of vibrating panties (yes like from The Ugly Truth) and I wore those for a little while, while I listened to John Mayer serenade me into good, good, good vibrations. Haha. Singledom = Masturbation on Valentine's Day.
It is just something I live with and it is a natural way to feel good. True Life.
Anyways, on a final note, I hope all my friends had a great Valentine's Day, single or not, it is just another greeting card holiday that people put too much thought into, but is worth celebrating in some way (CHOCOLATE!) haha.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Sex Dreams.
Well, I have been told by a few people that I need to start writing about my sex dreams I have because they tend to be very interesting and a lot of the times very vivid and lastnight's was pretty interesting...
There is this guy I am very attracted to and have had multiple sex dreams about during this winter and lastnight I had yet another one.
It seemed as though we were at his apartment and I was about to leave, but while giving him my goodbye hug I stayed in his embrace and began to kiss his neck. He did not seem to protest this and one of my hands moved toward his chest while my other hand dragged it's nails down his back with this surge of intensity. He grabbed the small of my back and my hand at his chest moved down to his jeans. I felt that what I was doing was perfectly fine with him. I looked up and he looked down at me, no words, but we started to kiss. It felt so real, like the best kiss I have had in a while! We somehow made our way to his bedroom and from there things just seemed to move faster. We kissed and I pushed him onto the bed and I sat on top of him. I once again felt his chest but this time both of my hands were under his shirt trying to get it off. After taking his shirt off, he reciprocated by taking mine off and looking at my breasts. I took his hands and put them on my breasts letting him cup them and feel them. Then it's like my dream hit fast forward and we were both naked and in the midst of doing it. side note: **I don't know if it is the fact that I like my breasts and I like to play with them and my subconscious felt the need to make it happen, but...** In my dream the guy had a fascination with my breasts and while I was on top of him, he was grabbing them.
Somehow the dream ended because I woke up, but honestly waking up from a dream like that really makes me happy but also aggravates me because it was just a tease. I am pretty sure I would never just do what happened in my dream though because I have no idea whether the guy likes me like that, nor do I think I would ever make moves like that. Hope this was entertaining and I am about 100% sure there will be more to come.
There is this guy I am very attracted to and have had multiple sex dreams about during this winter and lastnight I had yet another one.
It seemed as though we were at his apartment and I was about to leave, but while giving him my goodbye hug I stayed in his embrace and began to kiss his neck. He did not seem to protest this and one of my hands moved toward his chest while my other hand dragged it's nails down his back with this surge of intensity. He grabbed the small of my back and my hand at his chest moved down to his jeans. I felt that what I was doing was perfectly fine with him. I looked up and he looked down at me, no words, but we started to kiss. It felt so real, like the best kiss I have had in a while! We somehow made our way to his bedroom and from there things just seemed to move faster. We kissed and I pushed him onto the bed and I sat on top of him. I once again felt his chest but this time both of my hands were under his shirt trying to get it off. After taking his shirt off, he reciprocated by taking mine off and looking at my breasts. I took his hands and put them on my breasts letting him cup them and feel them. Then it's like my dream hit fast forward and we were both naked and in the midst of doing it. side note: **I don't know if it is the fact that I like my breasts and I like to play with them and my subconscious felt the need to make it happen, but...** In my dream the guy had a fascination with my breasts and while I was on top of him, he was grabbing them.
Somehow the dream ended because I woke up, but honestly waking up from a dream like that really makes me happy but also aggravates me because it was just a tease. I am pretty sure I would never just do what happened in my dream though because I have no idea whether the guy likes me like that, nor do I think I would ever make moves like that. Hope this was entertaining and I am about 100% sure there will be more to come.
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Wesley Foundation of Greenville
This has been bothering me...so I am just gonna throw this out there, because I feel like after I put this in writing rather than just saying it to my best friends maybe I will feel better.
A couple of weeks ago I went to Wesley after my rehearsal got out to give one of the guys something I borrowed of his back to him. When I walked in I gave the guy his thing back and was greeted by one of the girls and we talked about our running plans, because she is running a half marathon and I am running a 5K. After that short conversation I went to leave because my car was still running, only to find it was too hard to try to get out and the parking lot was packed. I went back in to let someone know that they needed to move their car so I could leave. A girl I am not great friends with moved her car and then I ended up just parking behind her car, feeling sort of guilty for not giving everyone a chance to say hi to me. I came back in and was greeted with a huge hug from one of my favorite Wesley guys, which was the highlight of my night! I proceeded to this years president of Welsey where she acted slightly irritating and rude. She did not ask me how I was doing, but where have I been and assumed I was not attending Wesley anymore. I am sorry, but you know you are representing a campus ministry when you talk to EVERYONE?! Especially on the campus ministry's grounds you should act humbly and be, at the least, nice to me. Then she found out my car was the one blocking her in from hauling ass out of the place...I moved my car and thought maybe I do not need to come back here. I went back inside after moving my car and got to see the pastor. He was sooooo happy to see me and very eager to show me the newly renovated kitchen my mom had donated money to make happen. It finally looks like what a church kitchen should look like and I am glad my name is a part of this. The pastor and I then talked about the several suicides due to bullying and how awful it is and how that was his sermon that night. He wished I could have been there to give my input, but I had rehearsal. Well, I stayed later than I had planned to, to hang with the guy who gave me a huge hug. He is part of the reason I would stay at Wesley.
Well, one of the other girls at Wesley lets call her Lindsey gets on my damn nerves. She is right up there with my appreciation towards the president of Wesley. Lindsey is the the Hospitality officer at Wesley and a sophomore at ECU, but acts like a first grader. Her and two of the guys from Wesley like to do this little secret stare and gaze at each other while I am trying to have a decent conversation with them and then laugh. I don't know what your inside jokes/secrets are and really don't care to find out, but I would appreciate the time I am trying to act and speak like an adult with you that you would reciprocate that and do me the same. Lindsey, the president, and the two guys are a part of the reason I do not want to come back to Wesley.
I have already spoken on the fact that noone ever contacted me after the fall semester began and how disrespected I feel because of that, so there is no need for me to go into that story. You know how I feel and that is a big part of why I do not like Wesley.
I do not care who reads this from Wesley, you cannot change how I feel without showing me the respect and love I deserve as your neighbor and a part of your family. As of now, I do not feel as though Wesley Foundation of Greenville is an important part of my week. I deserve better!
A couple of weeks ago I went to Wesley after my rehearsal got out to give one of the guys something I borrowed of his back to him. When I walked in I gave the guy his thing back and was greeted by one of the girls and we talked about our running plans, because she is running a half marathon and I am running a 5K. After that short conversation I went to leave because my car was still running, only to find it was too hard to try to get out and the parking lot was packed. I went back in to let someone know that they needed to move their car so I could leave. A girl I am not great friends with moved her car and then I ended up just parking behind her car, feeling sort of guilty for not giving everyone a chance to say hi to me. I came back in and was greeted with a huge hug from one of my favorite Wesley guys, which was the highlight of my night! I proceeded to this years president of Welsey where she acted slightly irritating and rude. She did not ask me how I was doing, but where have I been and assumed I was not attending Wesley anymore. I am sorry, but you know you are representing a campus ministry when you talk to EVERYONE?! Especially on the campus ministry's grounds you should act humbly and be, at the least, nice to me. Then she found out my car was the one blocking her in from hauling ass out of the place...I moved my car and thought maybe I do not need to come back here. I went back inside after moving my car and got to see the pastor. He was sooooo happy to see me and very eager to show me the newly renovated kitchen my mom had donated money to make happen. It finally looks like what a church kitchen should look like and I am glad my name is a part of this. The pastor and I then talked about the several suicides due to bullying and how awful it is and how that was his sermon that night. He wished I could have been there to give my input, but I had rehearsal. Well, I stayed later than I had planned to, to hang with the guy who gave me a huge hug. He is part of the reason I would stay at Wesley.
Well, one of the other girls at Wesley lets call her Lindsey gets on my damn nerves. She is right up there with my appreciation towards the president of Wesley. Lindsey is the the Hospitality officer at Wesley and a sophomore at ECU, but acts like a first grader. Her and two of the guys from Wesley like to do this little secret stare and gaze at each other while I am trying to have a decent conversation with them and then laugh. I don't know what your inside jokes/secrets are and really don't care to find out, but I would appreciate the time I am trying to act and speak like an adult with you that you would reciprocate that and do me the same. Lindsey, the president, and the two guys are a part of the reason I do not want to come back to Wesley.
I have already spoken on the fact that noone ever contacted me after the fall semester began and how disrespected I feel because of that, so there is no need for me to go into that story. You know how I feel and that is a big part of why I do not like Wesley.
I do not care who reads this from Wesley, you cannot change how I feel without showing me the respect and love I deserve as your neighbor and a part of your family. As of now, I do not feel as though Wesley Foundation of Greenville is an important part of my week. I deserve better!
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
There's a fine line between being nice and being creepy.
There is totally a fine line between being nice and being creepy and I will explain from experience.
I had this friend, let's call him Jimmy. Well, Jimmy and I became friends because we agreed on certain things and have common interests.
It seemed as though after we became friends, he would comment on my every Facebook status, uploaded photo, post unnecessary comments on my wall, he would send me event invitations and then immediately after he saw me online he would Facebook chat me to see if I was going. Things like that got really old really fast and I started to get annoyed with it. That's as far as I would take the friendship because I was not physically attracted to him nor did I have any interest in dating him.
I let him know that I did not have any feelings for him beyond friendship.
I gave him my number because we go to the same college, we were in some of the same classes/different times and we had lunch a couple of times, but he abused my cell phone by texting randomly with things that were not worth a text message reply.
I let him know that he was annoying me and for a little while he staved off on the comments and such. But, he thought after having one Facebook chat with me over the summer he could start blowing up my notifications again.
By the summer, he not only had my phone number and was friends with me on Facebook and commented on everything on there, he was now following me on twitter and mentioning me in tweets, asking me questions on formspring.me, and when I started this blog he was my only follower.
Jimmy seemed to have a very good memory, which was also a little on the creepy side. He would remember things that I had forgotten about and really could care less.
He would tell me a song about being in love with a girl was about me or a song from my favorite band was about me, and he would give me unwanted compliments - i.e. I don't need makeup to look beautiful. He may have thought these were nice gestures, but I didn't like him that way. So, I didn't want to hear it and felt uncomfortable when he would tell me things like that. He didn't understand why I was uncomfortable.
One night last fall I opened up to Jimmy and told him about a very dark part of my past, which took me a good while to get over and the consequences from my past. I trusted he could keep it a secret, which he did. But, last night he decided to show what grade he's actually in (1st grade) and boast to me in a Facebook message that he was so proud that he kept my secret for about a year. Well, because he said that it brought back the memories and I got upset. I told him not to say anything again and leave the past in the past. He apologized and then went all emo and said something along the lines of whenever one tries to give a nice gesture it WILL come back to bite them in the ass. That pissed me off and I told him how I felt and that I really did not expect him to remember what I said nor tell anyone. He got smart with me and said True Friends always remember. He really upset me and I calmly responded True friends don't bring up bad/hurtful memories. He said he needed to cool down and 7 minutes later completely switched gears and was acting like our conversation had never happened.
From the way he acted last night it is safe to say me and Jimmy are NOT friends anymore on any social network and it was my choice. Last night was the last thread of friendship I had with him...he brought something up from my past that I would rather keep there and I have tried to tolerate his annoyance, but it has been a long time coming...I'm finally saying I don't need his friendship. HOPEFULLY he will grow up and realize that this happens in life and he'll learn from his actions.
Getting back to the fine line is the fact that he would think he was being nice, but in my opinion he was being creepy. Hopefully, my friends, you will learn the difference between being nice and being creepy and not become a borderline creeper or cross that line. :)
I had this friend, let's call him Jimmy. Well, Jimmy and I became friends because we agreed on certain things and have common interests.
It seemed as though after we became friends, he would comment on my every Facebook status, uploaded photo, post unnecessary comments on my wall, he would send me event invitations and then immediately after he saw me online he would Facebook chat me to see if I was going. Things like that got really old really fast and I started to get annoyed with it. That's as far as I would take the friendship because I was not physically attracted to him nor did I have any interest in dating him.
I let him know that I did not have any feelings for him beyond friendship.
I gave him my number because we go to the same college, we were in some of the same classes/different times and we had lunch a couple of times, but he abused my cell phone by texting randomly with things that were not worth a text message reply.
I let him know that he was annoying me and for a little while he staved off on the comments and such. But, he thought after having one Facebook chat with me over the summer he could start blowing up my notifications again.
By the summer, he not only had my phone number and was friends with me on Facebook and commented on everything on there, he was now following me on twitter and mentioning me in tweets, asking me questions on formspring.me, and when I started this blog he was my only follower.
Jimmy seemed to have a very good memory, which was also a little on the creepy side. He would remember things that I had forgotten about and really could care less.
He would tell me a song about being in love with a girl was about me or a song from my favorite band was about me, and he would give me unwanted compliments - i.e. I don't need makeup to look beautiful. He may have thought these were nice gestures, but I didn't like him that way. So, I didn't want to hear it and felt uncomfortable when he would tell me things like that. He didn't understand why I was uncomfortable.
When I actually did want to talk to him he would try to get me to go to another campus ministry he was heavily a part of, but I didn't want to go due to the people that were a part of it and he didn't get that either.
One night last fall I opened up to Jimmy and told him about a very dark part of my past, which took me a good while to get over and the consequences from my past. I trusted he could keep it a secret, which he did. But, last night he decided to show what grade he's actually in (1st grade) and boast to me in a Facebook message that he was so proud that he kept my secret for about a year. Well, because he said that it brought back the memories and I got upset. I told him not to say anything again and leave the past in the past. He apologized and then went all emo and said something along the lines of whenever one tries to give a nice gesture it WILL come back to bite them in the ass. That pissed me off and I told him how I felt and that I really did not expect him to remember what I said nor tell anyone. He got smart with me and said True Friends always remember. He really upset me and I calmly responded True friends don't bring up bad/hurtful memories. He said he needed to cool down and 7 minutes later completely switched gears and was acting like our conversation had never happened.
From the way he acted last night it is safe to say me and Jimmy are NOT friends anymore on any social network and it was my choice. Last night was the last thread of friendship I had with him...he brought something up from my past that I would rather keep there and I have tried to tolerate his annoyance, but it has been a long time coming...I'm finally saying I don't need his friendship. HOPEFULLY he will grow up and realize that this happens in life and he'll learn from his actions.
Getting back to the fine line is the fact that he would think he was being nice, but in my opinion he was being creepy. Hopefully, my friends, you will learn the difference between being nice and being creepy and not become a borderline creeper or cross that line. :)
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