Sexual Self Control

My friend asked a couple of nights ago had I hooked up with anyone since she had last seen me and I said no. I also added that on Labor Day of this year, September 5, if I have not hooked up with anyone by this time I have been celibate for three years.
My friend freaked out a little bit saying things like oh my God and how do you do it?! I could only think of one answer at the time, my vibrator, but now that I have been mulling over this for a couple of days I believe it is because of multiple reasons. In this blog I am going to list my reasons of why I have been celibate for almost three years now. Enjoy. ;)


Well like I said the first thing that came to my mind was the fact that I have a vibrator, so therefore I do not need to hook up with anyone when I have this perfectly fine toy to do exactly that. I know some people may wonder, don't you miss the touch of guy, the cuddling, the crazy places you can do it, etc? Well, yes I do miss that, but most of the men I have met in college have been complete boys and dogs and I do not want to sleep with either of those types of men.


This leads me to my next reason of why I have not hooked up with any guys since 2008...well I am the type of person when I give you everything, I give it completely. I am the person who has sex because I have feelings for you and yes it is deeper than a one-night stand, so I know I cannot just sleep around with a guy, especially after many failed attempts of trying to psych myself into believing that a one-night stand was okay.


My next reason I believe has to do with the way I was raised by my parents. My parents were not very strict and they were not very loose parents either. They did not let me get away with everything, but they did not hide me from everything. I knew what sex was by age nine and that was not by my parents telling, but from the movie channels on Dish Network, i.e. Cinemax at night becomes Skinemax and other channels. We never really talked about sex that much, but there were a few times it was brought up, by either my parents or myself. Which is why at the age of 13, I asked my mom for a vibrator so I would not have sex like the other sex-crazed teens in my eighth grade class. I have always had an open relationship with my parents and they have always been there for me, which is why I think I did not make too many irrational decisions and I did not always do things that they told me I could not do.


My next reason is my main focus in life right now is to not sleep with everything that has two legs and party all the time, but to graduate from college. I have had the mind-set that if I am applying for jobs, I need to say no to my friends who offer me the puff, puff, pass and think about making money so I can stop depending so much on my parents and grow up. I mean it's not that I don't like to have a good time, I do, but I make sure that I have my school work in check before I even think about going out. The partying is another part to this reason. I know how to drink and still remember what happened the night before. I have been to the point of throwing up and still telling a guy that happened to be my DD to leave my apartment after walking me to it, one night when I was really gone. I know when a guy is trying to get in my pants, it's that gut feeling instinct that kicks in, and I know when to say no. 


I think a lot of my self control at parties started when I was in high school because I used to offer to drive all the time and I saw first hand how messed up my people could get at parties. I did not want to be that girl and have no control over myself and need others to watch me, babysit me, or even fathom the thought of being left at the house because I have passed out and my friends don't want to deal with me. Those kinds of situations lead to bad decisions like having sex with that guy you thought you liked and then realizing it was not what you wanted. I know in my gut that I cannot do that to myself, I will have feelings attached to that person and when they have had me, they have also had my heart. I know it sounds dumb, but it is true and that will be another portion of my heart someone has stolen.


**If you were wondering I did not lose my virginity until I was 18 years old, it was exactly 20 days after my 18th birthday and it was a mistake. This is another reason why I do not have sex with just anybody. I gave up my virginity to a friend of mine at a party while we both in an intoxicated state and it was on the floor in the living room of the party at an apartment and there were five other people in the room (which none of them knew the sex had occurred). I say it was a mistake because it was in no way, shape, or form the way I had imagined it or wanted it to be. This is the only one-night stand I have had and it just so happened to be my first time. There were no sparks, there was no kiss, there was no orgasm, it was so quick and I do not know why I did it to myself. I fell for him after that night, which was a mistake as well and I have learned from it. Life goes on and this is a big reason for my sexual self control. 


I think another reason is because of my last "relationship." I put relationship in quotations because I was in love with this guy, but he was not in love with me. He was just having sex with me and that was pretty much it. He was never sober any of the times we had sex and I was quite the opposite, except for maybe two nights out of our 11, I was sober. We did cuddle and fall asleep next to each other after we had sex, so it was this thought I created in my head that we were a couple. I mean that time in my life has made it hard for me to even think about having sex with someone. Especially when I gave him all of me and at one of my best friends 18th birthday party he made out with his ex-girlfriend in front of my face. Yes, I continued to sleep with him after that and not listen to what my friends had to say, but believe me when I say I have learned from this mistake in my life and have tried hard not to let it happen again.


I think my last and biggest reason, which kind of sums up all of my past reasons, is I only want to have sex with a man if I am in a committed relationship and I am in love with him. I know that is why I have been celibate since 2008. Yes, I know some guys have come to my attention and lord knows I tried to get theirs, but there were always reasons to why the sex never actually happened and I guess I am grateful for that because I know that is not all I want from a guy.

Studying Abroad in Argentina

It's been a while since I have blogged and trust me this one's gonna be a long one so brace yourself and read as much as you'd like. :) **There are pictures to keep you interested. :P

           Recounting the two months I have spent in Argentina nearly filled up an entire diary I kept while there. I have so much I could say about this trip and how wonderful it was, but I think I will skip all the fun parts for now and get right to what exactly I went there to learn. I am a senior at East Carolina University, double majoring in Interpersonal/Organizational Communication and Hispanic Studies. I went to Argentina to study abroad and get my final prerequisite before delving into my upper level Spanish classes, which I will start in the fall semester. The study abroad program offered students to take Spanish 1003 and 1004 to complete their foreign language requirements for different majors or to do internships within their different majors.


         I had already signed up to take Spanish 1003 my spring semester when I heard about this program and when I got the okay to just go for Spanish 1004 I was elated. I still had to attend Spanish 1003 classes, but believe me I was grateful for it. Living in a country where English is not the first language took a little getting used to, but it was not long before I was having full conversations in Spanish with my host mother and other Argentinean natives. The first three weeks of class were like a mini review of what I had just finished at ECU and a look into Professor Castaño-Schultz teaching style. The classes went by very quickly, seeing as we only had three weeks for each level.


          We were in grammar class from 10:00am until 1:30pm every weekday and Monday through Thursday we were in conversation from 2:30pm until 3:45pm or 4:00pm. During the weeks we had class, it was a lot of work in the classroom and outside of class we had tons of homework to prepare us for the next day. Every week we had a diary in Spanish we turned in to show exactly how much we learned from the classes and to recount our activities during the past weeks. Conversation class had to be my favorite part of the day because Professor Barrionuevo made class fun. We learned songs in Spanish and changed the lyrics to use our vocabulary, we played games and rewrote fairy tales in Spanish with our own twists, and we talked a lot in Spanish and really used the grammar and vocabulary we were learning. I learned a lot and was very thankful to have come out of this class with more fluidity in my Spanish. My grade in Spanish 1004 was a 94.7%, a high A.

Profé Susana Barrionuevo and I

          Now to get into more details of my trip and tell you all the fun parts from living with a home-stay to all the great sites I got to visit. After a whole day’s worth of traveling to get to Argentina we landed in Mendoza, Argentina and while in Mendoza we visited two wineries where we tasted white and red wines, and an olive oil factory where we had the chance to taste the olive oil as well. We also visited the monument of San Martín the patron saint of Argentina, Puente del Inca also known as the Inca’s Bridge, and went on a site-seeing horseback ride through the Andes Mountains. 

Amanda, Kasey, and I in the Andes Mountains

           After three full days in Mendoza we moved from the hostel we were staying in into our permanent home-stay for most of the trip in Córdoba, Argentina. My host mother, Betty, was the best mother a girl could ever ask for! She was caring; always fed us more than was really necessary, talked to us and engaged us in Spanish conversation, and always was there to help us laugh if we were having a rough day. She was a widow and one of her sons, Cristián, lived with us. 

Betty and I

         I had five housemates, Amanda, Ryshonda, JC, Molly, and April. Molly and April were not with the ECU group, they were studying a semester long at the University of Córdoba and when we first moved in they were great with helping us get accustomed to Córdoba and the bus and taxi systems there. I met an Argentinean native, Ana Clara, after my second week living in Córdoba who helped me practice my Spanish, while I in return helped her practice her English. We met at my school one night at an event where we practiced our English and Spanish. Most of my time in Córdoba was spent either in class, eating, shopping, or hanging out at Butterfly Café with Sonia, Hector, Vivi, and Roxy. Four Wednesday nights while in Córdoba I played soccer. It was probably one of the best times I had in Córdoba because we were playing a sport that was so big there and with the intensity level of class it was a great stress reliever. We also had the opportunity to watch a soccer game while in Córdoba and I definitely took up that offer and it was such an awesome opportunity, although the team did not win the game. 

Me, Amanda, April, and Ryshonda

JC, Molly, and I

          One weekend we went to La Cumbre, which is a city near Córdoba with breathtaking sites and a chance for some people to go paragliding. This option I did not take up, but instead me and four other people trekked up passing the 14 biblical crosses to see the Cristo Redentor of La Cumbre. This Cristo Redentor also known as the Redeeming Christ is a smaller version of the one most famously known in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. 

Cristo Redentor, La Cumbre

The view at Cristo Redentor

         This was one of the most breathtaking moments for me and it was worth all the trekking to see the view. On another weekend trip we went to Alta Gracia, where Che Guevara grew up and we visited his childhood home. It was interesting to hear and see some of the history of such a famous revolutionary. After this visit we also visited the Jesuit Farm Ruins in Alta Gracia.


         Another huge trip was our week off from classes, when we traveled to Iguazú Falls, one of the seven natural wonders of South America, and Buenos Aires the capital of Argentina. Iguazú Falls, Argentina was wonderful and my favorite part was La Garganta del Diablo or the Devil’s Throat where the falls were so huge the mist covered the bottom so you could not see where the drop ended. This had to be the most breathtaking part of the entire trip for me and I was speechless over this natural wonder. 

La Garganta del Diablo

3 Points

         We also visited the three points where a river connects Paraguay, Brazil, and Argentina. After two days in Iguazú we traveled to Buenos Aires and on the way we stopped to visit the Jesuit Ruins, which were very interesting and was almost like a little city of its own. When we got to Buenos Aires we saw the Pink House, which is the equivalent of the U.S. White House, Teatro Colón – a famous theatre, the congress and other federal buildings. We went to a Tango Show one night and got to see where the Tango originated from and how beautiful of a dance it really is on a stage. We also visited the Recoleta Cemetery where the famous gravesite of Eva “Evita” Perón is located. 

Congress Building

The Recoleta Cemetery, like it's own little city.

         After we finished our lovely week off from classes we reconvened for the last and final week in Córdoba. I was very sad to tell Ana Clara goodbye at our last get together the Tuesday night before I left, but we still keep in touch. 

Ana Clara and I on that Tuesday night.

         The last day in Córdoba was the saddest because I had to tell Betty and the rest of her family goodbye. I wrote Betty a letter the last night in Córdoba because I could not find the right gift to give her. So instead of a gift, I wrote to her how I felt and how thankful I was for everything she had done for me. Betty was such a wonderful person and I honestly do not know how I would have made it in Córdoba without her. She was the reason I got a cell phone in Argentina to remain safer at night and she worries like any other mother would, whether her children are blood-related or not. I promised to keep in contact with Betty’s family and Ana Clara and I cannot wait to hear from them. I miss Argentina and most of all I miss Córdoba, but everything I learned there will not be wasted and I am putting it to use back in the U.S. where Spanish is not the first language. Córdoba will always be in my heart. 

Buen Pastor, Lady in the Water, Córdoba

¡Córdoba siempre estará en mi corazón!


Oh, you may be wondering what exactly did I eat there and drink there that is different from the U.S. Well, as for food and beverages I loved and will miss entirely too much are Alfajores de maicena, Panadería alfajores, Empanadas- ALL-con pollo, con cebolla y queso, con carne, con jamón y queso, y Árabes, Lomitos, Milanesa, Medialunas (con dulce de leche), Dulce de Leche, Locro, Megatubes, Asado, Tartas de Betty, Ser Yogurt-Frutillas sabor, Postres de Caseratto, Helado-especially Dulce de leche con granizado y coco, Sandwich de miga, Panadería fresh bread, Mango Tang, Mate con azúcar, Café con leche, Quilmes Crystal, Fernet con Coca, and Gancia y Sprite.


**Oh and by the way, Argentina Nightlife > American Nightlife. They head to the bars around 1:00am, by 2:00am you are at a club and it is packed full of people. The clubs don't close til about dawn and they serve drinks the entire time.They also have Siesta time from about 2:00pm-5:00pm which allows them to be wild and crazy during the nightlife. Maybe Americans should adapt this and we would not need those 5 hour energys or Red Bull to keep us alive while at work.**

Wild night in Córdoba. Mary, Me, and Amanda.

Stefania and I. Tequila Shots! ♥

Amanda, Pedro (our Argentinean Native amigo), Me, and Kaitlyn at the club.

Drink. Drank. Drunk. Wild night in Córdoba. Andrew and I in this epic photo.