Hello readers! :) I have been going through some of my old things and came across my old journals from middle and high school. I went looking for these journals after starting to keep a new one. I only write in my current one when I feel the need, which was basically how I kept them back in the day. Oh man, going through them made me laugh and want to give myself a hug at how much of an angsty, emotional preteen and teenager I was back then. So, apart from my usual posts on sexually related topics, I have decided to post little snippets from my old journals for a good laugh or pick me up, if your day is not going well or you need to take your mind off of things bothering you.
Tonight, I am going to start at the beginning. Each of my journals were 70 sheet college ruled, 1 subject notebooks and on each cover I always wrote Property Of: Emily Hamm. Tonight I bring you selections from "Property Of: Emily Hamm, Part I", which were written between August - November of 2003.
To put all of this into perspective, I was 13 years old at the time and this would have been during the first half of my eighth grade school year. My last year in middle school. At this point in my life I had a knack for poetry...Looking back, I think my poetry is pretty bad, but I'll let you be the judge. Here are some of the things I wrote back in 2003. Enjoy, haha!
My friends and I liked to doodle A LOT in middle school so half of my first journal are these little sketches with commentary, so I will give you the commentary.
Page 1: [picture of sperm with eyes and a mouth with a tongue hanging out] Mr. Nasty. Our Friend Mr. Nasty. Don't let him visit!
Page 2: [picture of an egg with eyes and lips] Ms. Goody. Our Friend Ms. Goody. [smaller picture of Mr. Nasty] He visited her.
Page 3: Mr. Nasty + Ms. Goody = This. Little Weeny. [picture of a fetus in the womb with the umbilical cord]
Page 4: Mr. Weed who does the deed. [picture of a frog] Mr. Crack [picture of a frog with bloodshot eyes]
Page 5: [picture of a worm with eyelashes] Mrs. Gut who looks like a nut. Isn't she hot? She is a Dick Chaney fan. [picture of a cock-eyed three leaf clover] Blind Luck. [random chubby mouse with long tail is also pictured]
Page 7: [picture of a dog in a dress and heels with a hot cup of coffee that says on the mug "coffee makes me sick"] hehehe. Ms. Slut have a cup of her. [picture of Ms. Slut naked with her six nipples showing] These are her tits.
Now for some poetry, grab your hot tea or coffee and put on some jazz music because this stuff is pretty thought provoking.
Look Undercover
I have no life and the life I live is no life to have.
I am nice and sweet and petite and I don't understand why they say I'm mean.
I don't always mean what I mean.
My life is a drag and I don't like to brag,
it is such a boring life.
Well I can see that no one sees who the real me can truly be,
because they look at the cover,
and not undercover.
If they did, they'd really see who the real me can be!
How Can It Be?
How can it be that the sun isn't shining down on me,
That the waves won't crash underneath my feet,
that the rain won't fall at all,
that the ground will shake and hallucinate,
and I won't live at all?
Roller Coaster of Life
The sky is blue.
The grass is green.
Everything is perfect, except me.
Everything around me is happy and cheerful,
but all I feel is a little more insecure.
This is no way to live my life.
On the grid it is marked 1,
as in the lowest you could ever drop before dying.
So I live my life with the highest hope,
and scream out loud on my roller coaster of life.
What Is?
What is worth seeing,
is seeing worth knowing?
Do you know, do you know,
which way do you go?
What is the deal,
if the deal is what?
I'm Gone
I'm depressed and stressed,
and over the limit.
Alcohol sounds good
right this minute.
Instead I'll just eat some bread,
and cry until my head
starts to hurt.
Maybe I'll call Curt
and give him the word.
I'm gone!
Out
I'm zoned out,
I'm proned to be out.
Out of this job
and off of this earth.
Onto a place greater than the Great Lakes,
heaven.
Love
U throw dirt up in my face.
I hate that you discriminate!
U only think about the color
and never under.
U make me scream.
I can't dream.
So why do I feel the love?
This will be the last one for tonight from this journal and I think I must have been hungry when I wrote this little diddy...
Food
Hot and spicy
and full of life.
Cooked to a simmer
and burnt to a crisp.
Nothing would tempt me
more to resist.
The pan is hot,
the water is cool,
What am I?
I'm food!
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Thursday, July 3, 2014
Bushes.
Hello readers! Oh me, oh my, it has been a year and a couple of weeks since my last blog post. I am the type of blogger that will post something when I am inspired. It has taken me a while to get my mind back in a writing mode for a couple of reasons. On July 16th, I will have worked at my first full-time job for a year! It has been a whirlwind of a year. I watched my friends get married. I helped them move. I celebrated birthdays. I was in a staged-reading of a play! I applied to grad school to pursue a MSW and was rejected, this past Friday I received the letter. It still stings a bit, but not my first University rejection. Anyways...If you are a new reader and have not read any of my posts before, you are in for a treat! I usually write about a sexual topic, usually on a personal level, and this post is no different.
To start off this post I would like to quote the Village People, "Don't go in the bushes! Someone might grab ya! Someone might grab ya!" -from the song "Fire Island"
This song just makes me laugh, especially those lyrics. My mind goes straight to the gutter when I hear those lyrics. We are heading into the gutter with this post. If you have not caught on yet, this post is going to be about pubic hair, mainly on a female, but a lot of this could apply to a man as well. Now you may be wondering how I was inspired to write about this topic. Here you go:
I was on tumblr. and one of the accounts I follow posted this gif set from Broad City and it triggered a thought in my mind.
A lot of women, including myself, have been conditioned to think that we will be more appealing to our partners, if we are clean shaven and basically naked in our pubic region. I know some of you are probably thinking, "No that's not me. I have had pubic hair since I hit puberty and I have not thought of shaving it." Well, I have thought about it and did shave until recently.
For me, the thought of shaving my pubic area was something I really started to think about once I found porn in middle school and I noticed that most of the porn stars I saw were clean shaven. Once puberty hit, I started shaving my pubic area around the age of 14. I remember it being a debated conversation between my sexually active friends. At that time I was still a virgin, but had no problems discussing and listening to my friends talk about sex. I remember one time discussing with a friend her plans to have laser hair removal, so she would not have to bother with shaving her pubic region again. Looking back now at that conversation, I am glad she did not follow through with that and I am glad that I never considered it. Well, I shaved my pubic area up until two months ago. I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this, so I will go ahead and ask and answer the questions for you. Why was I shaving in the first place? I was shaving for a few reasons, 1. Monkey see-Monkey do - watching porn and thinking that shaving was more appealing to my future partner; 2. My friends (well some of my girlfriends) were doing it, so I did too-peer pressure; 3. Once I started menstruating, I needed to be on birth control to regulate my cycle and at age 14 when that small hell began, I told my doctor I did not trust myself to take the pill every day. So, she put me on the birth control patch. What does this have to do with shaving? Well I put my patches near my pubic area and with the patch, there can be no hair in the way. I shaved to make sure my patch had a place to be properly adhered. Yes, there were other areas I could have put the patch, but this placement worked best for me.
So, I got used to shaving and for about 9 years I never questioned it. After I finished Undergrad and was out on my own, really alone with my thoughts, was when I started to ask myself why in the hell was I shaving?! There are so many benefits to having pubic hair that I questioned why I was preventing natures course. After learning that most of my friends did not shave anymore and really thinking about the positives of pubic hair, I decided to let mine grow again...Of course, I had to wait until after I switched my birth control from patch to the pill. I am happy with the choice I made and I think it is the natural thing to do and I am noticing that part of my body more because of this minor change.
The positives of pubic hair: 1. IT'S HEALTHY! This is a natural bodily growth; 2. It keeps the genitals warm, which means during sex a man is more likely to maintain his erection, given the heat coming off. It also means we can feel more comfortable naked; 3. It decreases friction during sex. Females who have a bare shaven pubic region are more likely to sustain "rug burn" caused by the friction during sex; 4. It is the first line of defense against potential bacteria and viruses that will try to infiltrate your genitals. The pubic hair serves to protect your goods; 5. For women, as we age the labia majora is susceptible to gravity's pull and it may not look as pretty as it did when you were 16 years old. The pubic hair is your friend and will make that less noticeable; Lastly, 6. It will never go out of style! No matter what the public opinion is, pubic hair naturally grows once a person hits puberty. It is unnatural to create a bare pubic area after puberty. Also, we have no idea how the public opinion will sway on the topic of bushes in the future.
These are just some of the reasons why I find it absolutely okay to have pubic hair. Also, for a while I was shaving to impress potential partners...I see no good in that, so if you are worried about what your partner thinks, STOP! This is your body and you make the decisions for yourself. Do not let someone dictate whether or not you should shave your bush. It should be your decision. Feel free to ask for your partner's opinion, but do not feel the need to take their statements into account when it comes to how you groom your genitals.
To end this interesting post, be happy! Be free! Do what you wanna do! Thank you for reading and I hope I was mildly entertaining! :)
To start off this post I would like to quote the Village People, "Don't go in the bushes! Someone might grab ya! Someone might grab ya!" -from the song "Fire Island"
This song just makes me laugh, especially those lyrics. My mind goes straight to the gutter when I hear those lyrics. We are heading into the gutter with this post. If you have not caught on yet, this post is going to be about pubic hair, mainly on a female, but a lot of this could apply to a man as well. Now you may be wondering how I was inspired to write about this topic. Here you go:
I was on tumblr. and one of the accounts I follow posted this gif set from Broad City and it triggered a thought in my mind.
A lot of women, including myself, have been conditioned to think that we will be more appealing to our partners, if we are clean shaven and basically naked in our pubic region. I know some of you are probably thinking, "No that's not me. I have had pubic hair since I hit puberty and I have not thought of shaving it." Well, I have thought about it and did shave until recently.
For me, the thought of shaving my pubic area was something I really started to think about once I found porn in middle school and I noticed that most of the porn stars I saw were clean shaven. Once puberty hit, I started shaving my pubic area around the age of 14. I remember it being a debated conversation between my sexually active friends. At that time I was still a virgin, but had no problems discussing and listening to my friends talk about sex. I remember one time discussing with a friend her plans to have laser hair removal, so she would not have to bother with shaving her pubic region again. Looking back now at that conversation, I am glad she did not follow through with that and I am glad that I never considered it. Well, I shaved my pubic area up until two months ago. I am sure you are wondering where I am going with this, so I will go ahead and ask and answer the questions for you. Why was I shaving in the first place? I was shaving for a few reasons, 1. Monkey see-Monkey do - watching porn and thinking that shaving was more appealing to my future partner; 2. My friends (well some of my girlfriends) were doing it, so I did too-peer pressure; 3. Once I started menstruating, I needed to be on birth control to regulate my cycle and at age 14 when that small hell began, I told my doctor I did not trust myself to take the pill every day. So, she put me on the birth control patch. What does this have to do with shaving? Well I put my patches near my pubic area and with the patch, there can be no hair in the way. I shaved to make sure my patch had a place to be properly adhered. Yes, there were other areas I could have put the patch, but this placement worked best for me.
So, I got used to shaving and for about 9 years I never questioned it. After I finished Undergrad and was out on my own, really alone with my thoughts, was when I started to ask myself why in the hell was I shaving?! There are so many benefits to having pubic hair that I questioned why I was preventing natures course. After learning that most of my friends did not shave anymore and really thinking about the positives of pubic hair, I decided to let mine grow again...Of course, I had to wait until after I switched my birth control from patch to the pill. I am happy with the choice I made and I think it is the natural thing to do and I am noticing that part of my body more because of this minor change.
The positives of pubic hair: 1. IT'S HEALTHY! This is a natural bodily growth; 2. It keeps the genitals warm, which means during sex a man is more likely to maintain his erection, given the heat coming off. It also means we can feel more comfortable naked; 3. It decreases friction during sex. Females who have a bare shaven pubic region are more likely to sustain "rug burn" caused by the friction during sex; 4. It is the first line of defense against potential bacteria and viruses that will try to infiltrate your genitals. The pubic hair serves to protect your goods; 5. For women, as we age the labia majora is susceptible to gravity's pull and it may not look as pretty as it did when you were 16 years old. The pubic hair is your friend and will make that less noticeable; Lastly, 6. It will never go out of style! No matter what the public opinion is, pubic hair naturally grows once a person hits puberty. It is unnatural to create a bare pubic area after puberty. Also, we have no idea how the public opinion will sway on the topic of bushes in the future.
These are just some of the reasons why I find it absolutely okay to have pubic hair. Also, for a while I was shaving to impress potential partners...I see no good in that, so if you are worried about what your partner thinks, STOP! This is your body and you make the decisions for yourself. Do not let someone dictate whether or not you should shave your bush. It should be your decision. Feel free to ask for your partner's opinion, but do not feel the need to take their statements into account when it comes to how you groom your genitals.
To end this interesting post, be happy! Be free! Do what you wanna do! Thank you for reading and I hope I was mildly entertaining! :)
Friday, June 21, 2013
My lips are(n't) sealed.
Hello readers! :) It has been a while...four months to be exact. There is a very good reason for why I have not been on the radar of my blog recently, MAY 10, 2013, I COMPLETED TWO UNDERGRADUATE DEGREES AT EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY AND GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!!! Sorry not sorry about the all-CAPS of excitement because I was so busy with school work and really trying to stay on track, that I literally had time for nothing else but my coursework. I am surprised I even fit in any time at all for a social life my last semester, haha. Anyways, so onto tonight's blog topic...per usual this is a sexually related topic.
Tonight, I am going to talk about why I think it is, not only okay, but I think important to talk about sex.
Last night a friend of mine was talking about how her and her friends try to talk to each other about their sexual experiences and how the conversations were not forced, but they were awkward and bashful chatter. After she shared her remarks, I told her about, how in high school, I was the girl in my small group of friends who was still a virgin and would hear about every bloody thing my friends were doing sexually. I mean there were no filters or things left to the imagination and for me being on the other end of that conversational exchange...never even experienced a man's touch until the spring of my senior year of high school...I was intrigued.
I wish more people, in general, would just talk about sex openly with others. An example of how easy it is to talk about it is the many ways I described the word sex back in my blog post from 2011. I know writing it online is a very passive and impersonal way of going about it, but it is a start.
I feel like some of the reasons we have issues with teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and just flat out too high of expectations when it comes to sex based on pornography's standards is because people do not talk about it.
I will start with saying, I think abstinence being implemented in the school systems is the worst idea to try and implant or ingrain into a person's mind. By not talking about sex, learning about the affects (pre and post) and safe sex practices, I think we are hurting more than helping the population. Now I know several people may shout at me things along the lines of, "well my religion believes...I am not allowed to talk about it because my religious text says it is an abomination..." This should not be a religious debate. EVERYONE HAS SEX! Whether our sexualized nation would like to admit it or not, people are doing it. It is in our primal state of being to procreate, or the intention to reproduce. The smart thing to do is to wise up to this knowledge and protect everyone from potentially harming themselves and understanding sexual practices and what is safe to use and what is not and other such facts. I don't think there should be an option to "opt out" of sexual education because this is a health and safety thing, not a religious thing. I applaud those with strong religious values, but as a Christian myself, I tend to side with science on things of this nature and how realistically it is more important to be educated on sexual health.
With that said, talking with your friends about your sexcapades, I think is a fantastic thing to do! This breaks that awkward grey area of, *cue internal thought: I know my friends are having sex, but I am curious if they have ever faked an orgasm...Do they ever get the urge to pee while having sex?...Am I the only one who has had anal sex?...I wonder how Paul is in bed...I wonder if Michelle likes being eaten out...* Things like that. I mean I know it can be awkward at first, but I was blessed with some friends who, like myself, really have no filter or barrier when it comes to talking about sex and we would say things that did or did not work out and how someone was in bed. It is also very interesting to hear about same-sex sexcapades. I think I just attract the gays/lesbians (not in the fact that I think I am so sexy and they all want to do me, no) because they are some of the best friends I have ever made and they have just as many awkward or interesting experiences as straight people. They also tend to just tell you everything, whether you want to hear it or not. I find it fascinating and something to learn, whether a girlfriend of mine is telling me about oral sex or how a guy made his boyfriend cum by hitting the g-spot between the anus and the scrotum. You can learn a lot from the gays! Just be willing to sit down with them and listen...They listen to enough of our shit, so it is refreshing (at least to me) to hear what their sexual experiences are like in comparison.
Once people can get past the awkwardness of mentioning the word sex, the taboo and stigma sometimes associated with the word can be minimized. Once people start talking about sex, there should be the want to explore information about it, like the perks, the consequences if practiced unsafe, etc.
There should also be a coming to Jesus for everyone who thinks that sex is exactly like a porn. If you think sex is going to be like in a porn, you are sadly mistaken. If you are basing your sexual experiences off of what you have seen in porn, your basing experiences on acting...Porn stars are cast based on how they look touching themselves, the facial expressions they make, what they sound like when they supposedly orgasm...I mean, no. Just please do me a favor and make your sexual experiences original and think about pleasing yourself and your partner, not how to please them based on how James Deen did it in that porn you saw last week.
Okay, since I could talk about this until I run out of breath or in this case, lose sensation in my hands, I will end on a simple note. If you are sexually active, or planning to have sex, use protection, know what are possible after-effects and try to be well-informed on the risks and benefits. Lastly, enjoy it! ;)
Tonight, I am going to talk about why I think it is, not only okay, but I think important to talk about sex.
Last night a friend of mine was talking about how her and her friends try to talk to each other about their sexual experiences and how the conversations were not forced, but they were awkward and bashful chatter. After she shared her remarks, I told her about, how in high school, I was the girl in my small group of friends who was still a virgin and would hear about every bloody thing my friends were doing sexually. I mean there were no filters or things left to the imagination and for me being on the other end of that conversational exchange...never even experienced a man's touch until the spring of my senior year of high school...I was intrigued.
I wish more people, in general, would just talk about sex openly with others. An example of how easy it is to talk about it is the many ways I described the word sex back in my blog post from 2011. I know writing it online is a very passive and impersonal way of going about it, but it is a start.
I feel like some of the reasons we have issues with teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and just flat out too high of expectations when it comes to sex based on pornography's standards is because people do not talk about it.
I will start with saying, I think abstinence being implemented in the school systems is the worst idea to try and implant or ingrain into a person's mind. By not talking about sex, learning about the affects (pre and post) and safe sex practices, I think we are hurting more than helping the population. Now I know several people may shout at me things along the lines of, "well my religion believes...I am not allowed to talk about it because my religious text says it is an abomination..." This should not be a religious debate. EVERYONE HAS SEX! Whether our sexualized nation would like to admit it or not, people are doing it. It is in our primal state of being to procreate, or the intention to reproduce. The smart thing to do is to wise up to this knowledge and protect everyone from potentially harming themselves and understanding sexual practices and what is safe to use and what is not and other such facts. I don't think there should be an option to "opt out" of sexual education because this is a health and safety thing, not a religious thing. I applaud those with strong religious values, but as a Christian myself, I tend to side with science on things of this nature and how realistically it is more important to be educated on sexual health.
With that said, talking with your friends about your sexcapades, I think is a fantastic thing to do! This breaks that awkward grey area of, *cue internal thought: I know my friends are having sex, but I am curious if they have ever faked an orgasm...Do they ever get the urge to pee while having sex?...Am I the only one who has had anal sex?...I wonder how Paul is in bed...I wonder if Michelle likes being eaten out...* Things like that. I mean I know it can be awkward at first, but I was blessed with some friends who, like myself, really have no filter or barrier when it comes to talking about sex and we would say things that did or did not work out and how someone was in bed. It is also very interesting to hear about same-sex sexcapades. I think I just attract the gays/lesbians (not in the fact that I think I am so sexy and they all want to do me, no) because they are some of the best friends I have ever made and they have just as many awkward or interesting experiences as straight people. They also tend to just tell you everything, whether you want to hear it or not. I find it fascinating and something to learn, whether a girlfriend of mine is telling me about oral sex or how a guy made his boyfriend cum by hitting the g-spot between the anus and the scrotum. You can learn a lot from the gays! Just be willing to sit down with them and listen...They listen to enough of our shit, so it is refreshing (at least to me) to hear what their sexual experiences are like in comparison.
Once people can get past the awkwardness of mentioning the word sex, the taboo and stigma sometimes associated with the word can be minimized. Once people start talking about sex, there should be the want to explore information about it, like the perks, the consequences if practiced unsafe, etc.
There should also be a coming to Jesus for everyone who thinks that sex is exactly like a porn. If you think sex is going to be like in a porn, you are sadly mistaken. If you are basing your sexual experiences off of what you have seen in porn, your basing experiences on acting...Porn stars are cast based on how they look touching themselves, the facial expressions they make, what they sound like when they supposedly orgasm...I mean, no. Just please do me a favor and make your sexual experiences original and think about pleasing yourself and your partner, not how to please them based on how James Deen did it in that porn you saw last week.
Okay, since I could talk about this until I run out of breath or in this case, lose sensation in my hands, I will end on a simple note. If you are sexually active, or planning to have sex, use protection, know what are possible after-effects and try to be well-informed on the risks and benefits. Lastly, enjoy it! ;)
Monday, February 11, 2013
Sex! Squimish, No?
Hello readers! It sure has been a couple of months, Happy New Year!
My year is off to a dashing start. Tonight...let's see, tonight I am going to try and write about sex and how sometimes even bringing up the word makes guys run in the opposite direction.
If you have never read my blogs before, I usually write about a sexually related topic and tonight is no exception.
Where to begin...hmmm, guys, you sometimes drive me crazy. I mean you seem sexually interested and then it is like the lights went out in a matter of seconds and your erect penis in now a floppy, soft, no good phallus.
"The pecker does the picking." -Patti Stanger
She is damn right! If I look at a guy and hold his eye contact for a couple of seconds or at least look him up and down and become wet there is something there, at least on the primitive level.
Now here's where things get tricky and it fucks me up because all men are different. I have never been attracted to a guy with the same qualities, ever. Okay, so over the weekend I got to see a lot of different guys, very good looking guys, and pretty much tried to think of possible guys I might want to end up kissing at the end of the night.
I don't fuck/have sex on the first aquaintance, but I have no problem with kissing, I actually quite enjoy kissing. Right, anyways...there was one guy I kept looking back to this weekend and thought, yes, I would love to try and kiss/make out with this guy. I even let some of my friends know who this guy was, and mind you this is mostly a bit face-value judgement. Primitive, you could even say...
I was attracted to other guys there as well, but none that caught my eye as much as the one. So, throughout the night I was talking with friends about how most of us were sex deprived...me apparently being the most sex deprived since my celibacy has been reinstated and it has currently been one year, one month, and four days since I last had sex. I made a tweet that night that said "I need sex" and I read out a hilarious response it got to one of my friends. A guy was around that doesn't know me well and cringed at my tweet and actually got up from where we were and walked away for a bit. Welp, my only response to his reaction is...another one bites the dust.
I really can't please all guys because y'all are all so different. How different?
One guy wants your tits and vag pics via text message. Another one wants you to hang out with him at 11:30pm or later, never earlier than that. Another one wants to show you the world and thinks you're brilliant. Another one wants to sleep with you, but you can't tell your friends or his because apparently it's a secret. Another one just wants you to come visit him for the sole purpose of sex. Another one just wants to be your friend.
One guy doesn't want you because you are too forward. Another one doesn't want you because you are too old. Another one doesn't want you because he thinks you're not forward enough. Another one wants your friend (that's the one that always kills me and just so happened to be the case with the guy I was attracted to this weekend). Another one doesn't even see you, in all sentiments of the word (just as bad as the previous one).
I'm sure it works the same for the ladies, but I mean it's like I can't even say the word sex without a guy thinking I either want to fuck him (which scares him away) or that in the next couple of minutes I will drop trou for him and pounce. There will always be a grey area when it comes to discussing these types of things, but I really thought sex was no longer taboo. If I say, "I need sex," please don't think I am referring to you when I say it. I am merely saying what my brain and vagina are craving. To me, that simple three word statement is just something everyone thinks and feels at some point in time, but I am not afraid to say it out loud. If I am saying it, it is in general. It's different than if I had said, "I need your sex" or "I need sex with you"...Anyways, I guess I found it quizzical and odd this weekend that some guys still find openness about sex, or in the least the sinful urges spoken aloud, to be something they still get squimish about...really?
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Guys, just get naked!
As 2012 comes to a close, I thought I would write one more post to end this year the right way...If this is your first time reading my blog, I generally write about some sort of sexually related topic, so enjoy!
Tonight's post was inspired by a photo I saw on tumblr. that was posted by a porn blog I follow:
Tonight's post was inspired by a photo I saw on tumblr. that was posted by a porn blog I follow:
Okay, well with past coital escapades with the three lucky gentlemen and then seeing this photo, I was kind of irked and just felt like writing about it...So can any guy please tell me why in the hell a woman has to get completely naked to have sex, while you can still keep your jeans on?!
I mean that is one of my pet peeves when it comes to having sex. If I have to be naked, you sure as hell better be naked...or I will try to take your damn clothes off for you if you are too timid. I mean give me a break! It does not take that long for you to get off that couch/chair, take your jeans and boxers, boxer-briefs, briefs, or underwear off and put a condom on.
It really is not that hard, yet I have slept with a guy who kept his shirt on for the majority of our sex and another guy who kept his boxers on the whole time and two of his dumbass drunk friends walked in on us to be funny and guess who got the most bare view out of that? Me, because, hmmmm, when I think of having sex the majority of the time I think of being naked...
I guess I get most ticked off about it because I am putting ALL of myself out there and the guy I am having sex with is keeping his shirt or boxers on?...Fuck that. I mean sex to me is a time when two naked bodies become one. I think if you keep some of your clothes on while we are having sex that you are holding back from me, it makes me wonder, why am I having sex with you or why did I have sex with you?
I don't know...I like the naked human body and depriving me of seeing it when we are supposed to share a drunken or sober coital moment...or hours in a bed or in a car or in a pool or on a couch or on the floor really disappoints me and hurts my feelings. Seriously though, if the female is fully naked, guys ,take it from me, and just get naked!
We are just as insecure about our bodies as you are, so there is no need to hide, especially if we are at the point of vaginal or anal intercourse. Plus, for me at least, it makes sex more enjoyable when I have that total skin-to-skin contact. It's that total feeling of closure and feeling as one body in motion...I don't know if you get what I am trying to say, but having that full nudity in sex makes me feel like my partner and I are equals and we are one in that moment.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
24 Sexual Questions About Me Answered
Okay, so in this post I am going to give all my readers a chance to see what only my tumblr. followers have seen this past month. On tumblr. you have the opportunity for people to ask you questions whether they reveal themselves or are anonymous. One night someone or some people just went crazy on my Ask box and as my avid readers know I do not hold anything back. So, below are 24 questions I was asked and 24 more ways to get to know me better, haha! Enjoy! ;)
**I mention grey face a few times. When someone is anonymous there is no profile picture, but a grey face in the place where a profile picture would be if the person were not anonymous.**
1. Anonymous: do you enjoy the taste of cum?
Me: Well, grey face, to be quite honest it is dependent on what my partner has consumed during the day because that will tweak the flavor a little bit. I do like the taste of it and it’s a nice little bit of protein, helps the skin keep a more youthful glow, and other benefits you can google. (I like to swallow, but only IF I KNOW THE PERSON IS CLEAN!)
2. Anonymous: What would you rather have done? Giving or receiving oral sex?
Me: I cannot give an answer to this question because unfortunately I have never received oral sex properly. There has only been one attempt in my sex life and I vocalized very clearly to the guy to stop because I felt nothing. I would love to receive oral sex, but I have yet to be with a guy who was willing to give me that sense of pleasure.
4. Anonymous: what do you have in mind for your ideal way of getting oral properly
Me: An orgasm.
7. Anonymous: Would you rather have rough crazy sex or passionate sex?
Me: Depends, because there is a time for both of these options. I think moreover I would prefer the passionate sex.
8. Anonymous: Would you rather pool or shower?
Me: Pool.
9. Anonymous: why the pool
Me: I love water. I am not sure why, but I do. I guess because I grew up at the pool, was on the swim team all the way up to my senior year of high school, and I find water sexually intriguing.
The shower limits the amount of space you and your partner can have for possible positions and it can be cramped quarters in your standard shower. A standard in-ground pool is a lot more roomy than the shower.
10. Anonymous: have you ever let a guy jizz on your face?
Me: No, and I don’t find that sexy or a turn-on at all.
11. Anonymous: What is your craziest fantasy?
Me: Welp, I’m making this one up off the top of my head:
My partner and I spend an entire day hiking up a mountain. Sleep next to a river (which is what your supposed to do when you go hiking in the mountains). At sunrise my partner and I will have dirty mountain sex, where all of nature can hear our every moan and groan before breakfast. The End.
12. Anonymous: Have you ever though about giving a guy anal instead of receiving it?
Me: thought*
Nope.
13. Anonymous: if you were to have threesome with two guys, what would you have them do to you?
Me: I would have one guy giving me anal sex, while the other guys gives me vaginal sex. Both of them embracing me and kissing me up and down. A visual reference of this is in the movie Threesome from 1994.
14. Anonymous: Do you take control of guys when it comes to sex? and how so?
Me: No, because I think there should be an equal sort of balance of control in the boudoir. I will say that when I do have sex I do not hold back if something does not feel right or needs to change. An example is vocalizing to my sexual partner that their penis is or is not in my vagina.
15 Anonymous: Do you wish you had someone to relive your stress from the end of the semester?
Me: relieve*
I sometimes do wish I had someone to relieve my stress from this hell of a semester I have had, yes, but I do not want to rush into anything. I honestly, at this point in time, don’t even know if I want anything.
16. Anonymous: In the future would you consider living the swinger lifestyle with your partner?
Me: No, I have already established to myself that when I actually do have sex with a guy it is because I truly like him. I always have feelings attached when I have sex, whether the guy knows it or not and I can’t fathom having my heart broken a million times over because I am sleeping with casual couples. That’s just not for me.
17. Anonymous: Do you think you are skilled in giving oral sex
Me: I wouldn’t say I am “skilled” when it comes to giving oral sex, because I have only given head to three guys in my life, but the guys I have given head to have complimented me on my oral.
18. Anonymous: What is better? Drunk sex? High sex? or Sober Sex?
Me: Sober sex, always.
19. Anonymous: Something about you draws me to you so bad, I want to get to know you so I hope you let me
Me: It seems like what draws me to you so badly is sexual attraction…but since I don’t know who you are grey face I can’t say I feel the same. It also seems like you only want to “get to know me” sexually, just by your questions.
20. Anonymous: Dont get me wrong I am definitely attracted to you sexually but I see pass that with you, your smile, your amazing taste in music and how much you care about music =)
Me: Right…well if I could see past these sexually perverted questions you’ve asked me, all I see is this anon grey face.
21. Anonymous: Do you know if you are a squirter?
Me: I am not a squirter.
22. Anonymous: What are you looking for right now and what do you look for in a guy
Me: Right now I am looking for a serious relationship. I have tried to make myself believe that a casual relationship was okay, but I still ended up having feelings for the guy and I just hate hurting myself like that.
Things I look for in a guy:
23. Anonymous: You didn't scare him away. I understand where you are coming from. People want different things at different times in their life. I am looking for serious things but i didn't match what you want. So I can't change who i am. Would you ever go to a nudest resort with a guy or someone special?
Me: I’m curious as to what part you didn’t match…but I do not think I would go to a nudest resort. A nude beach, yes, but a nudest resort means having to spend more than a few hours with a bunch of naked people around, haha. I like being naked, but that’s in the comfort of my own apartment.
24. Anonymous: Would you want someone to hangout in the nude with you or do you just like being nude alone?
Me: If I am going to be nude with someone else, just us two, we better be having sex. I am not comfortable with being naked with just anyone, haha. If I am naked with someone else I sure as hell better be in love with him because I do not show my entire body to just anyone. This would be someone special.
I enjoy being nude alone because I feel free, laissez-faire don’t care!
**I mention grey face a few times. When someone is anonymous there is no profile picture, but a grey face in the place where a profile picture would be if the person were not anonymous.**
1. Anonymous: do you enjoy the taste of cum?
Me: Well, grey face, to be quite honest it is dependent on what my partner has consumed during the day because that will tweak the flavor a little bit. I do like the taste of it and it’s a nice little bit of protein, helps the skin keep a more youthful glow, and other benefits you can google. (I like to swallow, but only IF I KNOW THE PERSON IS CLEAN!)
2. Anonymous: What would you rather have done? Giving or receiving oral sex?
Me: I cannot give an answer to this question because unfortunately I have never received oral sex properly. There has only been one attempt in my sex life and I vocalized very clearly to the guy to stop because I felt nothing. I would love to receive oral sex, but I have yet to be with a guy who was willing to give me that sense of pleasure.
3. Anonymous: what if I was willing to give you oral properly?
Me: Well grey face, it would be nice to take me out on a date first and get to know me. I don’t just open my legs for anyone. It takes time and trust and if you won’t reveal yourself to me, what makes you think I’d reveal myself to you?
4. Anonymous: what do you have in mind for your ideal way of getting oral properly
Me: An orgasm.
5. Anonymous: would you rather have length or girth
Me: I would rather have an average penis, which is 5.1-5.9in roughly in length and 4.85in roughly in circumference because a vagina can really only handle the average male penis size. If the guy’s too big it wouldn’t be enjoyable because I would be crying in pain the whole time. If the guy’s too small, well, I wouldn’t be able to feel anything…
6. Anonymous: have you ever been creampied?
Me: HELL NO! That’s the easiest and dumbest way for a female to get pregnant, letting a guy release his load right into/on the female’s vagina as she orgasms…That’s just stupid.7. Anonymous: Would you rather have rough crazy sex or passionate sex?
Me: Depends, because there is a time for both of these options. I think moreover I would prefer the passionate sex.
8. Anonymous: Would you rather pool or shower?
Me: Pool.
9. Anonymous: why the pool
Me: I love water. I am not sure why, but I do. I guess because I grew up at the pool, was on the swim team all the way up to my senior year of high school, and I find water sexually intriguing.
The shower limits the amount of space you and your partner can have for possible positions and it can be cramped quarters in your standard shower. A standard in-ground pool is a lot more roomy than the shower.
10. Anonymous: have you ever let a guy jizz on your face?
Me: No, and I don’t find that sexy or a turn-on at all.
11. Anonymous: What is your craziest fantasy?
Me: Welp, I’m making this one up off the top of my head:
My partner and I spend an entire day hiking up a mountain. Sleep next to a river (which is what your supposed to do when you go hiking in the mountains). At sunrise my partner and I will have dirty mountain sex, where all of nature can hear our every moan and groan before breakfast. The End.
12. Anonymous: Have you ever though about giving a guy anal instead of receiving it?
Me: thought*
Nope.
13. Anonymous: if you were to have threesome with two guys, what would you have them do to you?
Me: I would have one guy giving me anal sex, while the other guys gives me vaginal sex. Both of them embracing me and kissing me up and down. A visual reference of this is in the movie Threesome from 1994.
14. Anonymous: Do you take control of guys when it comes to sex? and how so?
Me: No, because I think there should be an equal sort of balance of control in the boudoir. I will say that when I do have sex I do not hold back if something does not feel right or needs to change. An example is vocalizing to my sexual partner that their penis is or is not in my vagina.
15 Anonymous: Do you wish you had someone to relive your stress from the end of the semester?
Me: relieve*
I sometimes do wish I had someone to relieve my stress from this hell of a semester I have had, yes, but I do not want to rush into anything. I honestly, at this point in time, don’t even know if I want anything.
16. Anonymous: In the future would you consider living the swinger lifestyle with your partner?
Me: No, I have already established to myself that when I actually do have sex with a guy it is because I truly like him. I always have feelings attached when I have sex, whether the guy knows it or not and I can’t fathom having my heart broken a million times over because I am sleeping with casual couples. That’s just not for me.
17. Anonymous: Do you think you are skilled in giving oral sex
Me: I wouldn’t say I am “skilled” when it comes to giving oral sex, because I have only given head to three guys in my life, but the guys I have given head to have complimented me on my oral.
18. Anonymous: What is better? Drunk sex? High sex? or Sober Sex?
Me: Sober sex, always.
19. Anonymous: Something about you draws me to you so bad, I want to get to know you so I hope you let me
Me: It seems like what draws me to you so badly is sexual attraction…but since I don’t know who you are grey face I can’t say I feel the same. It also seems like you only want to “get to know me” sexually, just by your questions.
20. Anonymous: Dont get me wrong I am definitely attracted to you sexually but I see pass that with you, your smile, your amazing taste in music and how much you care about music =)
Me: Right…well if I could see past these sexually perverted questions you’ve asked me, all I see is this anon grey face.
21. Anonymous: Do you know if you are a squirter?
Me: I am not a squirter.
22. Anonymous: What are you looking for right now and what do you look for in a guy
Me: Right now I am looking for a serious relationship. I have tried to make myself believe that a casual relationship was okay, but I still ended up having feelings for the guy and I just hate hurting myself like that.
Things I look for in a guy:
- Appearances-wise - I am always attracted immediately to a guy’s eyes. I have no particular preference of color, except that I like natural eye colors, fuck color contacts. I am highly attracted to a beautiful smile with pearly white and straight teeth. I find it sexy when a guy takes care of his mouth. I love a nice ass I can grab! I am definitely a fan of the ass. I like guys that are taller than me, I am 5’7 3/4, so I prefer a guy who is at least 5’9 in height or taller. I prefer a guy who doesn’t look like I would destroy him/eat him alive. I prefer a guy who looks like he would be able to pick me up and has a little meat on his bones.
- Other-wise - A guy who respects himself and me, has a nice personality, has a sense of humor, I am really sarcastic at times so I need a guy who can keep up with me and take a joke. I want a faithful guy because I have been fucked over already in my life and that damaged me and I don’t want to feel that way again. I want a loyal guy as well because nothing sucks worse than a guy who won’t stand up for his girl through everything. I want a trustworthy guy because, stemming off of the faithfulness, nothing sucks more than being with a guy who’s lying to you to your face. I prefer a guy who likes the same music as me, because music is like my second home and if he doesn’t like the music I listen to and won’t go to shows with me, we won’t work out.
23. Anonymous: You didn't scare him away. I understand where you are coming from. People want different things at different times in their life. I am looking for serious things but i didn't match what you want. So I can't change who i am. Would you ever go to a nudest resort with a guy or someone special?
Me: I’m curious as to what part you didn’t match…but I do not think I would go to a nudest resort. A nude beach, yes, but a nudest resort means having to spend more than a few hours with a bunch of naked people around, haha. I like being naked, but that’s in the comfort of my own apartment.
24. Anonymous: Would you want someone to hangout in the nude with you or do you just like being nude alone?
Me: If I am going to be nude with someone else, just us two, we better be having sex. I am not comfortable with being naked with just anyone, haha. If I am naked with someone else I sure as hell better be in love with him because I do not show my entire body to just anyone. This would be someone special.
I enjoy being nude alone because I feel free, laissez-faire don’t care!
Saturday, April 21, 2012
HPV
How to start this post...I decided to write this because as much as I love my mom sometimes she can say some of the most hurtful things, probably not realizing how bad they actually hurt. I did not feel like telling her how much it hurt me because it has always been a touchy subject and I really did not want to overreact. So I kept my mouth shut and now I am writing it all down.
Today as my mom was driving us home from my sister's baby shower I was telling her how I love my best friends and how I feel like I can tell them anything. For example, one of my guy friends wants to be a nurse, so I told him about my colposcopy (a procedure in which the doctor biospies uterine cells to, in my case, make sure my cells are not cancerous) I had yesterday. Well while I was explaining to my mom what exactly it is that they do during the procedure she said, "Emily you really need to make better choices when it comes to your sexual partners because this is the second one that has made you have to have a colposcopy." My first response was, "but mom I have only slept with three men." To which she responded, "Well two out of three have been not your best choices." After she said that I wanted to open the fucking car door and just jump out of the car.
Why would you say such a thing?! Especially to your daughter. I just could not believe it.
Here is where I will start to explain why I felt like jumping out of the car, I guess...
So as my avid readers know from a previous post entitled: The Three Lucky Gentlemen
I have only slept with three men in my entire sex life. My second sexual partner, who I named Gaston in my previous post, was really the only sexual partner I had for a substantial amount of time. Well, I thought he was clean because he was a marine and I am pretty sure they do health screenings regularly in the Marines to make sure that their soldiers are healthy. We only had protected sex the first two times out of eleven times we did have sex. After I severed all communication ties with Gaston in November of 2008 I had my annual physical at the doctor in May. This was the first time ever that I had abnormal pap smear results. They made me schedule an appointment to come in for a follow-up appointment where they would do a colposcopy procedure to look further in-depth at my uterine cells. Well, the results came back and my cells were determined to be pre-cancerous. My doctor said this can only mean that I got HPV (human papillomavirus) from my sexual partner.
The biggest life changing news for me. I went home and cried. Well, because this happened I had to go back to the doctor every four months to have a pap smear to make sure nothing turned out to be cancerous and after a year of that everything went back to normal. I went back to the once a year pap smear...until this year.
**Before I get into that I just want to point out that after Gaston and I severed ties I did not have sex with anyone until November 23, 2011. I was celibate for three years and three months before I had sex again.**
So, I went for my annual physical this past March and low and behold I had another abnormal pap smear. Once again I had to go to the doctor for a follow-up colposcopy appointment, which I had yesterday. My mom thinks it was because of Josh, my third sexual partner, and I was actually offended when she hinted at that because once you have HPV, you have it. She cannot just blame the next guy I sleep with for an abnormal pap smear.
I wanted to literally just jump out of the car. Not only did I feel like she was disrespecting me to my face, she was disrespecting my sexual partner and friend that she does not even know.
Anyways...so I have HPV. If you don't know a lot about HPV, I suggest you do some light reading on it! Yes, I got all the Gardasil shots when I was in high school, but guess what? They only protect against, I believe, six out of the 40+ strains there are of HPV. I just so happened to I guess get one of the strains it does not protect against.
**For more facts on HPV you can go here: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and here: HPV.com Get The Facts **
HPV.com gives very insightful information about HPV and really helped me understand that I sure as hell am not alone and even if I had taken every precautionay measure while having sex, all HPV needs to spread from one person to another is genital contact. You do not even have to have sex to get it! HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection. I feel sort of gross and ashamed knowing that I have it, but my symptoms are the cervical cancer possibilities. Cool! I could possibly die from cancer that is caused by an STI. *sarcasm*
Right well, getting back to what my mom said earlier today, it really hurt my feelings that my mom thinks that my sexual partners caused me to have another abnormal pap smear...Guys can't be screened for HPV, but I am about 99.9% sure it was Gaston who was the carrier, mainly because he cheated on me and was sleeping with other females who were not the safest nor cleanest people I knew. It hurt my feelings because it only takes one sexual partner to get an STI like HPV and my mom was pretty much telling me that my third sexual partner gave me HPV again...I was also hurt that she would call me out like that and hit me with such a low blow.
I don't know...I guess I wrote this because I thought I could make myself feel better writing this down and I guess also let other ladies out there that have HPV know that they are not alone, yep. Also, I am here if anyone ever wants to talk about it.
Today as my mom was driving us home from my sister's baby shower I was telling her how I love my best friends and how I feel like I can tell them anything. For example, one of my guy friends wants to be a nurse, so I told him about my colposcopy (a procedure in which the doctor biospies uterine cells to, in my case, make sure my cells are not cancerous) I had yesterday. Well while I was explaining to my mom what exactly it is that they do during the procedure she said, "Emily you really need to make better choices when it comes to your sexual partners because this is the second one that has made you have to have a colposcopy." My first response was, "but mom I have only slept with three men." To which she responded, "Well two out of three have been not your best choices." After she said that I wanted to open the fucking car door and just jump out of the car.
Why would you say such a thing?! Especially to your daughter. I just could not believe it.
Here is where I will start to explain why I felt like jumping out of the car, I guess...
So as my avid readers know from a previous post entitled: The Three Lucky Gentlemen
I have only slept with three men in my entire sex life. My second sexual partner, who I named Gaston in my previous post, was really the only sexual partner I had for a substantial amount of time. Well, I thought he was clean because he was a marine and I am pretty sure they do health screenings regularly in the Marines to make sure that their soldiers are healthy. We only had protected sex the first two times out of eleven times we did have sex. After I severed all communication ties with Gaston in November of 2008 I had my annual physical at the doctor in May. This was the first time ever that I had abnormal pap smear results. They made me schedule an appointment to come in for a follow-up appointment where they would do a colposcopy procedure to look further in-depth at my uterine cells. Well, the results came back and my cells were determined to be pre-cancerous. My doctor said this can only mean that I got HPV (human papillomavirus) from my sexual partner.
The biggest life changing news for me. I went home and cried. Well, because this happened I had to go back to the doctor every four months to have a pap smear to make sure nothing turned out to be cancerous and after a year of that everything went back to normal. I went back to the once a year pap smear...until this year.
**Before I get into that I just want to point out that after Gaston and I severed ties I did not have sex with anyone until November 23, 2011. I was celibate for three years and three months before I had sex again.**
So, I went for my annual physical this past March and low and behold I had another abnormal pap smear. Once again I had to go to the doctor for a follow-up colposcopy appointment, which I had yesterday. My mom thinks it was because of Josh, my third sexual partner, and I was actually offended when she hinted at that because once you have HPV, you have it. She cannot just blame the next guy I sleep with for an abnormal pap smear.
I wanted to literally just jump out of the car. Not only did I feel like she was disrespecting me to my face, she was disrespecting my sexual partner and friend that she does not even know.
Anyways...so I have HPV. If you don't know a lot about HPV, I suggest you do some light reading on it! Yes, I got all the Gardasil shots when I was in high school, but guess what? They only protect against, I believe, six out of the 40+ strains there are of HPV. I just so happened to I guess get one of the strains it does not protect against.
**For more facts on HPV you can go here: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and here: HPV.com Get The Facts **
HPV.com gives very insightful information about HPV and really helped me understand that I sure as hell am not alone and even if I had taken every precautionay measure while having sex, all HPV needs to spread from one person to another is genital contact. You do not even have to have sex to get it! HPV is the most common sexually transmitted infection. I feel sort of gross and ashamed knowing that I have it, but my symptoms are the cervical cancer possibilities. Cool! I could possibly die from cancer that is caused by an STI. *sarcasm*
Right well, getting back to what my mom said earlier today, it really hurt my feelings that my mom thinks that my sexual partners caused me to have another abnormal pap smear...Guys can't be screened for HPV, but I am about 99.9% sure it was Gaston who was the carrier, mainly because he cheated on me and was sleeping with other females who were not the safest nor cleanest people I knew. It hurt my feelings because it only takes one sexual partner to get an STI like HPV and my mom was pretty much telling me that my third sexual partner gave me HPV again...I was also hurt that she would call me out like that and hit me with such a low blow.
I don't know...I guess I wrote this because I thought I could make myself feel better writing this down and I guess also let other ladies out there that have HPV know that they are not alone, yep. Also, I am here if anyone ever wants to talk about it.
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