The Sex List

For those of you who have read my blog before, you already know I have had sex and some of the things I have done sexually, but there are several things I have not done yet that I want to try out...This post will list some of the things I have yet to do sexually:
Also, I would like to try all of these things at least once, but they are in no particular order. :)

1. Sex in the shower.
2. Morning sex.
3. Library sex.
4. Strip tease for my sexual partner before foreplay and sex.
5. Live out a tangible sexual fantasy.
6. Boob sex (as funny as that sounds, it is something I have never done, but I am alright with trying it out).
7. A threesome...preferably two males, because females breed drama. Although, I am not totally against trying a female and male threesome.
8. Pool sex.
9. Stache ride (for those who do not know what I mean = sit on a male's face).
10. Receive oral sex...you heard me right I have never been eaten out properly.
11. A rim job.
12. Sex swing...as much as I like to swing, I want to try it out sexually.
13. Rain sex...when it's nice and warm outside, like spring showers or summer rains when it is definitely warm enough to forgot about the clothes you're wearing and just do it outside and get wet in both senses.
14. Car sex.
15. In general, try more sex positions. More than missionary, doggy-style, and reverse cowgirl.
16. Birthday sex.
17. 69.
18. Full body massage, giving and receiving...a form of foreplay.
19. Sex on the beach...on the condition that it is in a tent with the least amount of sand as possible, haha. I just love the atmosphere and the sounds of water. 
20. Sex in a park...a national park or a city park, not a dog park though, haha.

I'll just stick to 20 for now...I am sure there are plenty more I cannot think of at the moment but this is just a list of the things I have yet to do sexually, but am down to try. I know the majority of them are cliche, but I have yet to experience some of the most basic sexual pleasures that lots of people have...probably because I have only had sex 13 times...I will be looking forward to the day I can knock some of these things above off of my list...Unless I am playing Never Have I Ever, haha.

Being Naked

Being naked...I love it. I love the sense of freedom and sort of carelessness about it. 
Well, in this post I plan on delving into the naked human bodies (male and female) and human feelings towards being naked.


Alright everyone should know what a naked body looks like, most certainly their own sex, because they see themselves naked everyday in the shower, getting dressed, etc. If you do not know what a naked body looks like, take a moment and go to google and type it in...I'm sure under images you would be able to find tons of examples.


I will start with the female because, obviously, I know that very well.
I am just speaking very generally about this. I will not go into any anatomical crazy sorts of names and stuff so that you have to google it to find out what the hell I am talking about. Plain and simple...The naked female body parts (starting from the top->down) consists of breasts, a vagina (including the clitoris and labias), and anus. If you're thinking sexually, you would include the mouth in this group...
The naked male body parts (starting from the top->down) consists of pecs, a penis, testicles, and anus. Once again, if you're thinking sexually, you would include the mouth (especially the tongue) in this group...


Every one has different body types and different sizes of each of these things listed above and those parts of our body (except for male pecs) in the US are most often hidden and known as "private parts." I think because of what the US and society have tried to make us believe the perfect body looks like, people are constantly comparing themselves to that. People often find themselves not feeling up to the "sexy" standard. It is really disheartening.

Being naked is a sign of vulnerability, but with self confidence anyone can rock the birthday suit! As I stated at the beginning of this post, I love being naked! I don't really like clothes that much because, in all seriousness, there is no one-size fits all and looks good on all types of people clothing. It is so much easier to just walk around my apartment, go swimming, or sleep in just my skin and flesh. I sleep naked. It is comfortable, extremely comfortable, when I sleep and just feel the sheets on my skin. I am so accustomed to it, that when I spend the night at a friend's place, I find it weird to sleep in pajamas. Being naked is just natural. We came out of the womb naked. I am sure everyone as a child or at some point in their life, ran around their house butt-naked. I know I did, more than my fair share of times as a kid, haha. I think the times I find myself extremely vulnerable are when I share my naked body with a sexual partner because not only can they see all of me, I allow them to use all of their senses and touch me, taste me, smell me, and hear the sounds I make when I allow them to do all of those things. It is one of the times I feel like my body is not up to par or is not the best naked body he has ever seen...but then I think again and tell myself I am beautiful. I have nice curves. I have a nice ass. I have nice breasts that I can play with at any time I damn well please. I, of course, have a very well-kept vagina that gets its deserved attention. I just have to remind myself, with confidence, that my body may not be perfect, but damn I look hot without any clothes on! ;)


It is interesting that something so simple as being naked becomes warped when you put it within the context of adult life. The perfect naked body does not exist! Plastic surgeons will continue to make money off of the people that believe that statement is false though. Those people believe they can achieve the perfect body through the loss of so many thousands of dollars, surgeries, pain, recovery, etc. Porn is another example of what people think the naked human body should look like...it's all wrong. Pornography type casts just like any other Disney movie does and not everyone looks like that. Not everyone has DD breasts or a 10 inch penis, just sayin'. Everyone is different! If people would stop taking their cues from society on what type of naked they consider "hot" and tried to find the "hotness" by looking in the mirror, their confidence in being naked would rise. I believe it. 


If there was one thing I would suggest to help boost that confidence, find something you like to do and do it naked.
***PLEASE make sure it's legal, good lord, do not be stupid about it! Don't do something like go to Backdoor Skatepark and try to skateboard completely naked. A good example is to get ready for your day completely naked in your bathroom, bedroom, etc. up until the point where you obviously have to get dressed and leave for school, work, etc. 
I like to get ready naked and one thing I find really fun to do is jam out to music around my apartment, do a little dance, sing a few verses and refrains, and just enjoy the freedom I have in my own. :) 

Valentine's Day Is Coming Up

Last year I wrote a blog about my Valentine's Day and I guess for some reason I feel the need to write another because I did not cover the thoughts I have right now in my last one.


My opinion about Valentine's Day is very harsh, but I feel like it is valid.
Valentine's Day, in my opinion, is a fucking capitalist holiday where money is flushed down the shitter all for the sake of "love."


Does that sound a little bitter? Maybe...
Well, I say it so harshly because I have always been single on Valentine's Day and singledom on Valentine's Day is almost sickening and sucks...Every couple seems to be drooling over themselves. Making reservations and paying ridiculous amounts of money to eat at restaurants that have Valentine's Day Sweetheart Specials. They are almost always stressed out about their plans, especially when they go wrong. It's the one day every couple has an excuse to really show that they love their significant other...


I'm sorry, don't you do that on a daily basis? Why would you go out, spend a ridiculous amount of money to show the person, who already knows, that you love them? The answer only a Comm Major like myself could give is because this holiday makes it a sort of norm and most people feel like they are doing something wrong if they don't celebrate. 


The funniest part is that this holiday was named after two Christians named Valentine (of Rome and of Terni) who were martyred back in the second and third centuries. A martyr has nothing to do with love, candies, greeting cards, and all this hoopla society now has us thrusting upon couples in love. Two men agreeing to death rather than give up their religious beliefs is what this holiday was originally about. Now we buy candy, flowers, Valentine cards, and get our knickers in a twist if one little thing goes wrong on our date.


I say forget about all that shit. Valentine's Day has turned into such a capitalist holiday, meaning too much money is spent on materialistic ideals of "love." If I did have a Valentine, and we are celebrating the way society expects us to, all I would want from him is a good fuck and we can call it a day...We end the session in the sheets saying Happy Valentine's Day and cuddle off to sleep. BOOM! I don't need the candy, the flowers, or the dinner at the restaurant (which will probably be busy as hell), just gimme yourself and I will be completely happy with that Valentine.
Show me you love me rather than trying to buy my affection...It's more sensible and not to mention it's free.


If I don't have a Valentine again this year, like last year, welp there's always masturbation...haha.

Friends With Benefits?

So, I have been thinking tonight...which usually leads to me writing a blog. 
My question is:
Is there really a politically correct way to say you're just fucking someone?...


I live vicariously through Samantha Jones from Sex and the City as most of my friends already know, but I just cannot seem to be able to have a conversation with everyone telling them out loud and openly that I am fucking someone. I mean I do this with my very close friends (usually one-on-one), but other than those few and obviously my blog readers, who secretly read it but won't tell me they did, I am unsure on how to tell other people when the conversation of sex life and relationships arise.


I was seeing a counselor and obviously they ask you about every facet of your life including school, work, extracurriculars, relationship, family, etc. Well, she asked me how my relationship with this guy I was dating was going and I was taken aback and I even laughed a little bit. I think seeing past the generational differences between us, I was unsure on how to just tell her in a politically correct way that we were just having sex. I kept telling her we were "talking." I feel that way around my parents as well and really any of my family members. It is an awkward conversation and a situation that may make me seem like a slut, but in reality I am just having sex with the same person without being committed to them. I delved into this casual relationship hoping that they knew I was not sleeping with anyone else, so I in return was hoping they weren't either. That's probably my only disclaimer to this kind of "no strings attached" mentality. 
Also, if for some reason, either partner in a casual relationship finds someone they would like to pursue, then they should let their partner know. I think it's safe to say that the whole casually sleeping together business should end, out of respect, obviously. 
**On a side note: Emotions are involved in everything we do, despite what some people might say, and it can be very disheartening to be in a casual relationship with someone you trust enough to sleep with and them not be able to tell you they want to stop. That is how friendships end, sadly. It should never have to be that way. So always remember: Communication is key!


Moving on...I hate that term, "talking." I use that term because I think it's politically correct to say, instead of, "oh we're just fucking." In reality, I think people see "talking" in a specific way. I feel like if you tell someone you are "talking" to someone then you are in that in between dating and in a relationship stage. 


I also think "friends with benefits (fwb)" is such a cop out term. I don't really know anyone who actually uses that term when they are talking about sleeping with someone on a regular basis, but aren't dating them. Fuck buddies is also another term that makes me think in and of itself, is that politically correct?


I guess that leads me to the question: 
Is fucking someone on a regular basis without being in a relationship with them considered politically correct?...
-Doubtful, but in today's society it seems to be a trend. People are purely just trying to meet their physical needs with someone who is agreeing to do the same without having to deal with jealousy issues or other types of baggage some relationships tend to bring into people's lives. 


Other ways of saying "Oh we're just fucking" that might not necessarily be politically correct but have been said are:
-We know each other biblically. <-Oh the irony!
-We're heathens together.
-We're just living in sin.
-Casual relationship. <-That might be the closest thing to politically correct.
-Booty call.
-Friends by day, sex partners by night. <-haha!
And there are more, I am sure, but those were just a few I asked around for or have heard from people in the past.


Anyways, I wrote this post because I really don't know how to talk to someone without making myself sound like a slut, when I talk about having sex with the same person without dating them. In today's society, I feel like this is still frowned upon in the public eye, but looking beyond that, especially in my generation, it is a commonality. Hell, check out the movies No Strings Attached  and Friends With Benefits! These are just two movies that go to show you it is out there whether people want to see/know it or not.

Anal Sex

Okay, so as the title states this post will be all about Anal Sex. Everything I am going to talk about is from my experience, my opinion on it, Dos and Don'ts from what I've experienced and really just a sort of PSA that it doesn't have to hurt. In fact, in my experience it hurt soooooo good. ;) Some of this content is quite raw, so if you can't handle me talking about an asshole then you should probably stop reading here.

Well okay so Anal Sex, there's this big ugly fat stigma placed on it that it's "Gay Sex." Most guys who are straight would rather not tell their other friends, especially guy friends, that they fucked their girlfriend in the ass because of the gay connotation that always seems to be put on it. 
I'm here to tell you, that it's just sex. Straight people have it, gay people have it, bisexuals have it, etc...it is just another hole a penis/sex toys can go into and induce pleasure for sexual partners. Plain and simple.

Alright now that that statement has been made, I really enjoy anal sex. I was unsure how I would feel about it when I was talking to my sexual partner, but if you just push those thoughts to the back of your mind and realize this is just another moment you can receive pleasure out of, why wouldn't you?!
Well before I had anal sex for the first time I had looked up things online about how to make it hurt less because we all know and have heard the horror stories from attempts at anal sex. What I found online was slightly helpful and interesting. I mean let's be honest, if you look something up online at least try to have it be a somewhat credible source, otherwise take any advice that is posted online with a grain of salt...like this post, haha. (In the end the choice is yours and no one should make you have anal sex, period.)

Anyways, online there were suggestions: 
1. Make sure you have taken a poop at least two hours prior to sexual engagement, to ensure no nasty mishaps (ew!),
2. Try taking a warm and relaxing bath to calm any tension,
3. Try to have your partner during foreplay massage your anus and loosen any possible tension to lessen the initial pain,
4. Make sure to use water-based lubrication,
and 5. Always promote safer sex by wearing a condom.

Okay well since I stated what I read up on before actually having it, I will tell you my personal account of anal sex. 
Well my sexual partner and I were having vaginal intercourse and during a breather I was asked if I had ever thought about trying anal sex. Well I giggled and said to be honest that I had looked it up online. I looked up how to prepare for it and sort of what to expect from it. I said I had already taken my big dump of the day. (Nice pillow talk right? Haha.) So I was prepared for it, if we pursued anal sex that night. I am someone who really does not think twice about something, so I said let's do it. 
Well he was wearing a condom and I positioned him into the right hole and he entered me from behind. We were in the doggy-style position and towards the end of the bed. Well as soon as he entered this jut of pain went surging through my body and we both knew he was in...he thrusted a few more times and my hands fell to the floor, half of my body still on the bed. I was in so much pain I kept telling him to stop and that I needed to get back on the bed. So he stopped, pulled out and I crawled my way back up onto the bed and laid there in the fetal position with shallow breathing. I told him something along the lines of, "Ow. That. Fucking. Hurt. Oh my god." While I laid there catching my breath and feeling less pain, he asked if we could try again with lube. I wanted to smack myself, duh! So I said okay and he lubed up my hole and he reentered and this time it was 100 times less painful. 
*sidenote-you know that feeling you get when you're getting a tattoo? That it hurts so good feeling? That's what this felt like.*
So we were in doggy-style and he pulled out and told me to turn over. Okay, so I did and he entered me in the missionary position and proceeded to ram the fuck out of me. Let me just say it hurt so good that I came before he was finished.
**It took me more or less three days for my asshole to get back to a normal feeling. Your ass is guaranteed to hurt after anal sex. Common sense.

Anyways, now that you have this mental image of me having anal sex, haha, I want to tell you why it hurt initially and some Dos and Don'ts when you are having anal sex.
Dos:
-Wear a condom - provides a barrier, most are lubricated, it's just safer.
-Lubricate!!! - seriously that was probably our initial biggest mistake only relying on the condom's lubrication, it hurt because there was too much friction and not enough glide. Lube it up and you will be golden.
-COMMUNICATE - if it doesn't feel good tell him!, if he is about to enter your vagina instead of your anus tell him and help him position it in the right place, LADIES: nothing could be worse than his penis going straight from your anus to your vagina because you didn't tell him or help him out. 
-Wash up after it is all over. Seriously though, why wouldn't you?
-Change condoms before switching back to vaginal intercourse, Ladies, I know you don't want the poop bugs/bacteria up in your vagina, especially since they can cause the UTIs (Urinary Tract Infection), Yeast Infections, and other gross bacterial infections. 

Don'ts:
-Don't Bareback, unless you fully understand what you are getting yourself into.
-Don't do it without lubrication...with anal sex lubrication will be your best friend, after his penis.
-Don't let him switch from your anus to your vagina without changing condoms/cleaning up. If you do allow him to do this ladies-get ready for a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), Yeast Infection, and/or anything bacterial related to creep up on your vagina.
-Don't go blindly into this. Try to look things up prior, to lessen the amount of discomfort you will experience.
-Don't do it if you don't want to, the choice is yours!

**There will be initial pain, that's just a plain fact. I mean you are thrusting something that is bigger than what the hole is used to on a daily basis. Common sense. So just keep that in mind.

In the end, as I have stated multiple times, the choice to have anal sex is up to you and your sexual partner. I think that anal sex is an acquired taste, but I really enjoy it. When I say that anal sex is an acquired taste, I mean a lot of people have had horrific experiences with it and don't want to try it again, ever, because that's how they think it will always be, painful. I feel like most of those horror stories stem from the fact that the sexual partners did not have access to lubrication and/or really think in depth about what they were about to do. I think for anything you plan on doing sexually you should at least know some facts about it before just diving in. I really feel like more people would enjoy anal sex if they could get over that initial pain stage and fully succumb to the pleasure that you can receive out of it, with lots of lube. 

The Three Lucky Gentlemen

"The Three Lucky Gentlemen" refers to those three men who were given the chance to have sex with me and did. The way my blog works, if you're reading this for the first time, is I will not use these gentlemen's real names. I can go ahead and say some people will know who I am talking about anyways, despite the name changes, because all three men I consider(ed) my friends and the fact that we have many mutual friends in common. This one gets real, so be prepared for things that might gross you out or even make you think about me differently. Sorry in advance.


Let's start with Lucky #1
We will call him Drew. Drew and I were childhood neighbors. We grew up together, not necessarily as best friends or even close friends, but we grew closer our junior and senior years of high school. We hung out with mutual friends and although we went to rival high schools we never let that phase us. Most of our time spent together was with my best friend and his best friend and our favorite past time was getting high. The funny thing is that was about the only time we hung out. I remember my first time like it was yesterday...It was May 25, 2008, 20 days after my 18th birthday, and my friend invited me to a house party. I had a few girlfriends go with me and that night was full of drinking, smoking cigarettes, and smoking weed. At the end of the night everyone pretty much that didn't live at the house slept in the living room. Drew and I were on the floor and our friends were on a separate part of the floor or on the couch. The living room had seven people in all. I was really attracted to Drew and in my drunken and high state of mind I made the first move. I told him I wanted to have sex with him and he agreed. So on the floor, he put the condom on and entered me from behind and there I was losing my virginity...on the floor in a room with five other occupants. Drew stopped after about 2 minutes and said the room was spinning and pulled out and that was it. I did not have an orgasm and neither did he. We didn't even kiss. No one in the room knew it happened either, but that morning when I left the party I told my friends. I proceeded later to fall for Drew and it was the dumbest thing I could have ever done. Luckily I had his friends to remind me he did not like me like that so I could get the continued conditioning that there would be no relationship. I was crushed. I threw away my first time on the floor at a party 20 days after my 18th birthday. I mean, I 100% regret that night, but it's not like I can take it back. You live and you learn.


On to #2
Let's call him Gaston. Well after my first time failed and I graduated high school I started to hang out with this guy who hung out with some of our other mutual friends. I told him multiple times how upset I was over my first time not being the best and me not even reaching an orgasm. Well you could say this turned into like summer lovin'. I mean we spent an entire night in Cook Out's parking lot where he fingered me to an orgasm, while we listened to Senses Fail. SMH Well our first time together...my second time happened at my house in my bedroom. We turned on the TV to the one of the radio station channels, it was alternative rock I think, and then I don't know why but our foreplay was tickling and pinning each other and then one thing led to another and I experienced my first real sexual orgasm. He told me before we had sex that he wanted to show me what my first time should've been like and he did. After that night we proceeded to have sex 10 more times, mainly at my house, but also at his friend's house, his apartment, and in a hotel bathroom. The thing I regret most about this sexual experience is that after about the third time we had sex we stopped using condoms. I was stupid and thought it was okay to just use the pull out method and so did my friends. Mainly they told me I'd be okay because I was on birth control for four years before I lost my virginity. I believed them and he liked it...especially when I finished him off...yep I was that girl. He would pull out and I would swallow his load. Too much for you to handle? Sorry, I am just giving you my honest accounts on my past sexual relationships. I think that having unprotected sex was just one facet of the regret. The other part was the fact that I fell in love with him. I told him and he did not love me back. I was crushed and seriously thought we were in a relationship...I was delusional, let's be real. I was on this stupid lovesick cloud and even though my friends and family told me to leave the douchebag, I felt like I couldn't. I ended the friendship/relationship after eight months of bull shit. I deleted him off of my Facebook, I deleted his number out of my cell phone and slowly moved on. I spent several nights crying over him, but in the end this was a learning experience.


Lucky #3
We can call him Josh. Well this guy had sex with me 3 years and 3 months after Gaston...yes it took me that long to gain the ability to even be attracted to someone without letting my feelings get in the way. It also took me that long to find a guy who I considered a gentleman and someone who I thought would not disrespect me the way Gaston did in the past. Well Josh and I have many mutual friends like the other two guys, but this was probably the first time a lot of my friends that I hung out with the most did not know him. We mainly spoke to each other over Twitter and texting. I sent him several, and I mean several, scandalous text messages and before I went to see him the night we had sex I felt like that's how the majority of our conversations went. Not that I minded...but in the back of my mind that always stuck out. Anyways, so the night I gave up my celibacy I thought went very well. I hung out with Josh, his roommate and two other friends. We drank beer and later that night some smoked weed. I laughed like I hadn't laughed so hard in a very long time. I felt like I was just living in the moment carefree and really ready to have sex with Josh. The night ended with Josh and I in his room watching Auction Hunters on his bed. We were cuddling and cuddling eventually led to kissing, which led to me taking my clothes off. After this point it was time for the hanky panky...I asked him if he had a condom and he didn't. He told me we could stop there and there was a moment in my head where I said yes, that's logical, but that went out the window because it had been so long since I had had sex. I trusted him that he was clean, especially since we had been talking for about 2 months at that point in time. Well, I wasn't wet enough for him to really enter me, so he made the suggestion that I blow him to make it wet. In all honesty it was the best idea ever. I loved his penis and he proved that blow jobs don't have to suck. (no pun intended, haha!) He stopped me after a while and said it was probably wet enough and I got on top and he entered me. It felt good for what seemed to be about 2 minutes then he had to pull out...and again I did not have an orgasm. I was frustrated, but at the same time I did not think too much about it. I do wish I had had a condom for this so we both could've came at the same time because I was almost there, but that's a thing of the past. I still would like to have sex with Josh and next time actually cum, but that all depends on whether or not he wants to continue with this. We are still friends and yes I would love the benefits, but as of right now I am back at square one: masturbating...


I tell myself I am sorry for not using condoms, I tell myself I was stupid, but I also tell myself I could have stopped it. I didn't because I wanted to do it and for that I blame myself. All of these things in my mind I try to block out though because it's too late now to change the past and I just need to deal with myself at present.

What I am taking away from my Communication's Degree

If there is one thing I will take with me from Communication, other than the fact that it is everywhere and unavoidable, is Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. It helps me understand why I think about things the way I do sometimes. 


For those of you who are not Communication majors or are just not familiar with Maslow's Pyramid here is it:

I know this may sound nerdy and boring, but trust me it is most definitely not. ;)

The idea of this pyramid is that in life we are trying to reach the top of the pyramid, which is Self-actualization, but to get there you have to build up from the bottom. 

The most basic things we need to be copacetic are our physiological needs, it makes sense because to live we need to breathe, eat, drink, sleep, poop, pee, and here's the kicker have sex! The second step in the pyramid is safety needs which are being secure with your body, health, financial situation, family life, employment, and that you have a roof over your head. The third step in the pyramid is love/belonging needs which include obtaining and maintaining friendships, family, and sexual intimacy. The fourth step is esteem needs which include confidence, self-esteem, achievement, respect for oneself, and respect for others. The last step and top of the pyramid is Self-actualization, which is when one understands and masters all the previous needs and realizes their full potential in life.

Right now in my life I am honestly just trying to meet my physiological needs. I am definitely trying to remember to breathe, it comes naturally, but sometimes we need to be reminded. I have a love for food and drinks, there is definitely not a problem with that need being met. Sleep is important to me, but I know this semester I was lacking in that department. Obviously I poop and pee on a daily basis, and if you do not, you should probably go see a doctor. Now to meet my physiological need of sex, well I love to masturbate, so that is also not a problem, but let me just say that this physiological need is much better met by someone who will indulge in every part of me and make that 100 times more pleasurable than just my hand or my vibrator. ;) 

I am going with my gut feeling rather than my head and heart right now in my life and I know it makes me sound like a dude, but school is my number one priority right now. If I can have sex, well it's a bonus, but, let's be real, I am really picky when it comes to those who actually have access to my vagina and up until recently I had been celibate for 3 years and 3 months.

As for the second step in the pyramid I believe my safety needs are met. I feel certain that I am secure in my body. I sometimes put my health on the back-burner, hence why I have a cold right now during finals week, but all in all I know I am a healthy person. My financial situation is stable and I thank my lucky stars every day that I have such a supportive family. I know my family life is stable and I know that I can always run to them in any situation. I have a seasonal job right now and I know I need another job, but for right since school is first I am okay with having only a seasonal job. I am 100% sure the roof over my head safety need is met because I not only have one house, but two that I can escape to at any time. My apartment and my permanent home with my parents are those two places.

The third step in Malsow's hierarchy of needs is where I veer off of slightly. I feel that I have the love and feeling of belonging to so many friends and that that feeling is reciprocated. I truly, madly, and deeply love my family and I could not be where I am today without them. I could not be the person I am today with their love and support for these past 21 years. As for the sexual intimacy, I would like to say that when I have sex I get that, but at the same time I also feel like I am just trying to meet that first step of physiological needs. Right now as much as I would love to say I have sexual intimacy, things tend to get fuzzy with this subject. I do not know whether one would consider cuddling as being a part of sexual intimacy, but I love to cuddle so much after sex. I just do not know whether my sexual intimacy needs are being met, period. I am not saying this is a good thing or a bad thing because honestly I am unsure myself what to think about it, which is why I say I think I veer off at this step in the pyramid.

The fourth step in Maslow's pyramid yet again I feel like I have parts of this step, but other parts I know I do not. Well, that is what is keeping me reaching self-actualization at the top of the pyramid. The fourth step is esteem needs and I feel that at times my self-esteem is up there in the positive area, but then I look at myself in the mirror sometimes and just see someone who wishes she could go back to the body she had at 18 or things like that. I feel like my confidence level goes hand in hand with the self-esteem, because usually (not always) when my self-esteem is low, so is my confidence level. I feel like I achieve almost every goal I set myself to achieve. I feel this is true is for everyone. As for respect of self and respect of others, this is a huge value in my life. It may be a huge value in my life, but when I have casual sex to meet my physiological needs I sometimes feel like I am disrespecting myself...on the other hand I do not sleep around and I am definitely not a slut. I feel like you cannot fully show respect for another person until you show the full amount of respect for yourself. This is also something that tends to make the fourth step so hard to fully attain.

The last step and top of the pyramid is Self-actualization and since I have not mastered all of my previous needs I know I have not gotten to this yet.

I know that I am taking Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs with me from my Communication's degree in undergrad because it is so relatable to life as I know it. As I stated previously I am just trying to meet my physiological needs and live my life basically. What will you take away from your undergrad degree?