Last year I wrote a blog about my Valentine's Day and I guess for some reason I feel the need to write another because I did not cover the thoughts I have right now in my last one.
My opinion about Valentine's Day is very harsh, but I feel like it is valid.
Valentine's Day, in my opinion, is a fucking capitalist holiday where money is flushed down the shitter all for the sake of "love."
Does that sound a little bitter? Maybe...
Well, I say it so harshly because I have always been single on Valentine's Day and singledom on Valentine's Day is almost sickening and sucks...Every couple seems to be drooling over themselves. Making reservations and paying ridiculous amounts of money to eat at restaurants that have Valentine's Day Sweetheart Specials. They are almost always stressed out about their plans, especially when they go wrong. It's the one day every couple has an excuse to really show that they love their significant other...
I'm sorry, don't you do that on a daily basis? Why would you go out, spend a ridiculous amount of money to show the person, who already knows, that you love them? The answer only a Comm Major like myself could give is because this holiday makes it a sort of norm and most people feel like they are doing something wrong if they don't celebrate.
The funniest part is that this holiday was named after two Christians named Valentine (of Rome and of Terni) who were martyred back in the second and third centuries. A martyr has nothing to do with love, candies, greeting cards, and all this hoopla society now has us thrusting upon couples in love. Two men agreeing to death rather than give up their religious beliefs is what this holiday was originally about. Now we buy candy, flowers, Valentine cards, and get our knickers in a twist if one little thing goes wrong on our date.
I say forget about all that shit. Valentine's Day has turned into such a capitalist holiday, meaning too much money is spent on materialistic ideals of "love." If I did have a Valentine, and we are celebrating the way society expects us to, all I would want from him is a good fuck and we can call it a day...We end the session in the sheets saying Happy Valentine's Day and cuddle off to sleep. BOOM! I don't need the candy, the flowers, or the dinner at the restaurant (which will probably be busy as hell), just gimme yourself and I will be completely happy with that Valentine.
Show me you love me rather than trying to buy my affection...It's more sensible and not to mention it's free.
If I don't have a Valentine again this year, like last year, welp there's always masturbation...haha.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Friends With Benefits?
So, I have been thinking tonight...which usually leads to me writing a blog.
My question is:
Is there really a politically correct way to say you're just fucking someone?...
I live vicariously through Samantha Jones from Sex and the City as most of my friends already know, but I just cannot seem to be able to have a conversation with everyone telling them out loud and openly that I am fucking someone. I mean I do this with my very close friends (usually one-on-one), but other than those few and obviously my blog readers, who secretly read it but won't tell me they did, I am unsure on how to tell other people when the conversation of sex life and relationships arise.
I was seeing a counselor and obviously they ask you about every facet of your life including school, work, extracurriculars, relationship, family, etc. Well, she asked me how my relationship with this guy I was dating was going and I was taken aback and I even laughed a little bit. I think seeing past the generational differences between us, I was unsure on how to just tell her in a politically correct way that we were just having sex. I kept telling her we were "talking." I feel that way around my parents as well and really any of my family members. It is an awkward conversation and a situation that may make me seem like a slut, but in reality I am just having sex with the same person without being committed to them. I delved into this casual relationship hoping that they knew I was not sleeping with anyone else, so I in return was hoping they weren't either. That's probably my only disclaimer to this kind of "no strings attached" mentality.
Also, if for some reason, either partner in a casual relationship finds someone they would like to pursue, then they should let their partner know. I think it's safe to say that the whole casually sleeping together business should end, out of respect, obviously.
**On a side note: Emotions are involved in everything we do, despite what some people might say, and it can be very disheartening to be in a casual relationship with someone you trust enough to sleep with and them not be able to tell you they want to stop. That is how friendships end, sadly. It should never have to be that way. So always remember: Communication is key!
Moving on...I hate that term, "talking." I use that term because I think it's politically correct to say, instead of, "oh we're just fucking." In reality, I think people see "talking" in a specific way. I feel like if you tell someone you are "talking" to someone then you are in that in between dating and in a relationship stage.
I also think "friends with benefits (fwb)" is such a cop out term. I don't really know anyone who actually uses that term when they are talking about sleeping with someone on a regular basis, but aren't dating them. Fuck buddies is also another term that makes me think in and of itself, is that politically correct?
I guess that leads me to the question:
Is fucking someone on a regular basis without being in a relationship with them considered politically correct?...
-Doubtful, but in today's society it seems to be a trend. People are purely just trying to meet their physical needs with someone who is agreeing to do the same without having to deal with jealousy issues or other types of baggage some relationships tend to bring into people's lives.
Other ways of saying "Oh we're just fucking" that might not necessarily be politically correct but have been said are:
-We know each other biblically. <-Oh the irony!
-We're heathens together.
-We're just living in sin.
-Casual relationship. <-That might be the closest thing to politically correct.
-Booty call.
-Friends by day, sex partners by night. <-haha!
And there are more, I am sure, but those were just a few I asked around for or have heard from people in the past.
Anyways, I wrote this post because I really don't know how to talk to someone without making myself sound like a slut, when I talk about having sex with the same person without dating them. In today's society, I feel like this is still frowned upon in the public eye, but looking beyond that, especially in my generation, it is a commonality. Hell, check out the movies No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits! These are just two movies that go to show you it is out there whether people want to see/know it or not.
My question is:
Is there really a politically correct way to say you're just fucking someone?...
I live vicariously through Samantha Jones from Sex and the City as most of my friends already know, but I just cannot seem to be able to have a conversation with everyone telling them out loud and openly that I am fucking someone. I mean I do this with my very close friends (usually one-on-one), but other than those few and obviously my blog readers, who secretly read it but won't tell me they did, I am unsure on how to tell other people when the conversation of sex life and relationships arise.
I was seeing a counselor and obviously they ask you about every facet of your life including school, work, extracurriculars, relationship, family, etc. Well, she asked me how my relationship with this guy I was dating was going and I was taken aback and I even laughed a little bit. I think seeing past the generational differences between us, I was unsure on how to just tell her in a politically correct way that we were just having sex. I kept telling her we were "talking." I feel that way around my parents as well and really any of my family members. It is an awkward conversation and a situation that may make me seem like a slut, but in reality I am just having sex with the same person without being committed to them. I delved into this casual relationship hoping that they knew I was not sleeping with anyone else, so I in return was hoping they weren't either. That's probably my only disclaimer to this kind of "no strings attached" mentality.
Also, if for some reason, either partner in a casual relationship finds someone they would like to pursue, then they should let their partner know. I think it's safe to say that the whole casually sleeping together business should end, out of respect, obviously.
**On a side note: Emotions are involved in everything we do, despite what some people might say, and it can be very disheartening to be in a casual relationship with someone you trust enough to sleep with and them not be able to tell you they want to stop. That is how friendships end, sadly. It should never have to be that way. So always remember: Communication is key!
Moving on...I hate that term, "talking." I use that term because I think it's politically correct to say, instead of, "oh we're just fucking." In reality, I think people see "talking" in a specific way. I feel like if you tell someone you are "talking" to someone then you are in that in between dating and in a relationship stage.
I also think "friends with benefits (fwb)" is such a cop out term. I don't really know anyone who actually uses that term when they are talking about sleeping with someone on a regular basis, but aren't dating them. Fuck buddies is also another term that makes me think in and of itself, is that politically correct?
I guess that leads me to the question:
Is fucking someone on a regular basis without being in a relationship with them considered politically correct?...
-Doubtful, but in today's society it seems to be a trend. People are purely just trying to meet their physical needs with someone who is agreeing to do the same without having to deal with jealousy issues or other types of baggage some relationships tend to bring into people's lives.
Other ways of saying "Oh we're just fucking" that might not necessarily be politically correct but have been said are:
-We know each other biblically. <-Oh the irony!
-We're heathens together.
-We're just living in sin.
-Casual relationship. <-That might be the closest thing to politically correct.
-Booty call.
-Friends by day, sex partners by night. <-haha!
And there are more, I am sure, but those were just a few I asked around for or have heard from people in the past.
Anyways, I wrote this post because I really don't know how to talk to someone without making myself sound like a slut, when I talk about having sex with the same person without dating them. In today's society, I feel like this is still frowned upon in the public eye, but looking beyond that, especially in my generation, it is a commonality. Hell, check out the movies No Strings Attached and Friends With Benefits! These are just two movies that go to show you it is out there whether people want to see/know it or not.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Anal Sex
Okay, so as the title states this post will be all about Anal Sex. Everything I am going to talk about is from my experience, my opinion on it, Dos and Don'ts from what I've experienced and really just a sort of PSA that it doesn't have to hurt. In fact, in my experience it hurt soooooo good. ;) Some of this content is quite raw, so if you can't handle me talking about an asshole then you should probably stop reading here.
Well okay so Anal Sex, there's this big ugly fat stigma placed on it that it's "Gay Sex." Most guys who are straight would rather not tell their other friends, especially guy friends, that they fucked their girlfriend in the ass because of the gay connotation that always seems to be put on it.
I'm here to tell you, that it's just sex. Straight people have it, gay people have it, bisexuals have it, etc...it is just another hole a penis/sex toys can go into and induce pleasure for sexual partners. Plain and simple.
Alright now that that statement has been made, I really enjoy anal sex. I was unsure how I would feel about it when I was talking to my sexual partner, but if you just push those thoughts to the back of your mind and realize this is just another moment you can receive pleasure out of, why wouldn't you?!
Well before I had anal sex for the first time I had looked up things online about how to make it hurt less because we all know and have heard the horror stories from attempts at anal sex. What I found online was slightly helpful and interesting. I mean let's be honest, if you look something up online at least try to have it be a somewhat credible source, otherwise take any advice that is posted online with a grain of salt...like this post, haha. (In the end the choice is yours and no one should make you have anal sex, period.)
Anyways, online there were suggestions:
1. Make sure you have taken a poop at least two hours prior to sexual engagement, to ensure no nasty mishaps (ew!),
2. Try taking a warm and relaxing bath to calm any tension,
3. Try to have your partner during foreplay massage your anus and loosen any possible tension to lessen the initial pain,
4. Make sure to use water-based lubrication,
and 5. Always promote safer sex by wearing a condom.
Okay well since I stated what I read up on before actually having it, I will tell you my personal account of anal sex.
Well my sexual partner and I were having vaginal intercourse and during a breather I was asked if I had ever thought about trying anal sex. Well I giggled and said to be honest that I had looked it up online. I looked up how to prepare for it and sort of what to expect from it. I said I had already taken my big dump of the day. (Nice pillow talk right? Haha.) So I was prepared for it, if we pursued anal sex that night. I am someone who really does not think twice about something, so I said let's do it.
Well he was wearing a condom and I positioned him into the right hole and he entered me from behind. We were in the doggy-style position and towards the end of the bed. Well as soon as he entered this jut of pain went surging through my body and we both knew he was in...he thrusted a few more times and my hands fell to the floor, half of my body still on the bed. I was in so much pain I kept telling him to stop and that I needed to get back on the bed. So he stopped, pulled out and I crawled my way back up onto the bed and laid there in the fetal position with shallow breathing. I told him something along the lines of, "Ow. That. Fucking. Hurt. Oh my god." While I laid there catching my breath and feeling less pain, he asked if we could try again with lube. I wanted to smack myself, duh! So I said okay and he lubed up my hole and he reentered and this time it was 100 times less painful.
*sidenote-you know that feeling you get when you're getting a tattoo? That it hurts so good feeling? That's what this felt like.*
So we were in doggy-style and he pulled out and told me to turn over. Okay, so I did and he entered me in the missionary position and proceeded to ram the fuck out of me. Let me just say it hurt so good that I came before he was finished.
**It took me more or less three days for my asshole to get back to a normal feeling. Your ass is guaranteed to hurt after anal sex. Common sense.
Anyways, now that you have this mental image of me having anal sex, haha, I want to tell you why it hurt initially and some Dos and Don'ts when you are having anal sex.
Dos:
-Wear a condom - provides a barrier, most are lubricated, it's just safer.
-Lubricate!!! - seriously that was probably our initial biggest mistake only relying on the condom's lubrication, it hurt because there was too much friction and not enough glide. Lube it up and you will be golden.
-COMMUNICATE - if it doesn't feel good tell him!, if he is about to enter your vagina instead of your anus tell him and help him position it in the right place, LADIES: nothing could be worse than his penis going straight from your anus to your vagina because you didn't tell him or help him out.
-Wash up after it is all over. Seriously though, why wouldn't you?
-Change condoms before switching back to vaginal intercourse, Ladies, I know you don't want the poop bugs/bacteria up in your vagina, especially since they can cause the UTIs (Urinary Tract Infection), Yeast Infections, and other gross bacterial infections.
Don'ts:
-Don't Bareback, unless you fully understand what you are getting yourself into.
-Don't do it without lubrication...with anal sex lubrication will be your best friend, after his penis.
-Don't let him switch from your anus to your vagina without changing condoms/cleaning up. If you do allow him to do this ladies-get ready for a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), Yeast Infection, and/or anything bacterial related to creep up on your vagina.
-Don't go blindly into this. Try to look things up prior, to lessen the amount of discomfort you will experience.
-Don't do it if you don't want to, the choice is yours!
**There will be initial pain, that's just a plain fact. I mean you are thrusting something that is bigger than what the hole is used to on a daily basis. Common sense. So just keep that in mind.
In the end, as I have stated multiple times, the choice to have anal sex is up to you and your sexual partner. I think that anal sex is an acquired taste, but I really enjoy it. When I say that anal sex is an acquired taste, I mean a lot of people have had horrific experiences with it and don't want to try it again, ever, because that's how they think it will always be, painful. I feel like most of those horror stories stem from the fact that the sexual partners did not have access to lubrication and/or really think in depth about what they were about to do. I think for anything you plan on doing sexually you should at least know some facts about it before just diving in. I really feel like more people would enjoy anal sex if they could get over that initial pain stage and fully succumb to the pleasure that you can receive out of it, with lots of lube.
Well okay so Anal Sex, there's this big ugly fat stigma placed on it that it's "Gay Sex." Most guys who are straight would rather not tell their other friends, especially guy friends, that they fucked their girlfriend in the ass because of the gay connotation that always seems to be put on it.
I'm here to tell you, that it's just sex. Straight people have it, gay people have it, bisexuals have it, etc...it is just another hole a penis/sex toys can go into and induce pleasure for sexual partners. Plain and simple.
Alright now that that statement has been made, I really enjoy anal sex. I was unsure how I would feel about it when I was talking to my sexual partner, but if you just push those thoughts to the back of your mind and realize this is just another moment you can receive pleasure out of, why wouldn't you?!
Well before I had anal sex for the first time I had looked up things online about how to make it hurt less because we all know and have heard the horror stories from attempts at anal sex. What I found online was slightly helpful and interesting. I mean let's be honest, if you look something up online at least try to have it be a somewhat credible source, otherwise take any advice that is posted online with a grain of salt...like this post, haha. (In the end the choice is yours and no one should make you have anal sex, period.)
Anyways, online there were suggestions:
1. Make sure you have taken a poop at least two hours prior to sexual engagement, to ensure no nasty mishaps (ew!),
2. Try taking a warm and relaxing bath to calm any tension,
3. Try to have your partner during foreplay massage your anus and loosen any possible tension to lessen the initial pain,
4. Make sure to use water-based lubrication,
and 5. Always promote safer sex by wearing a condom.
Okay well since I stated what I read up on before actually having it, I will tell you my personal account of anal sex.
Well my sexual partner and I were having vaginal intercourse and during a breather I was asked if I had ever thought about trying anal sex. Well I giggled and said to be honest that I had looked it up online. I looked up how to prepare for it and sort of what to expect from it. I said I had already taken my big dump of the day. (Nice pillow talk right? Haha.) So I was prepared for it, if we pursued anal sex that night. I am someone who really does not think twice about something, so I said let's do it.
Well he was wearing a condom and I positioned him into the right hole and he entered me from behind. We were in the doggy-style position and towards the end of the bed. Well as soon as he entered this jut of pain went surging through my body and we both knew he was in...he thrusted a few more times and my hands fell to the floor, half of my body still on the bed. I was in so much pain I kept telling him to stop and that I needed to get back on the bed. So he stopped, pulled out and I crawled my way back up onto the bed and laid there in the fetal position with shallow breathing. I told him something along the lines of, "Ow. That. Fucking. Hurt. Oh my god." While I laid there catching my breath and feeling less pain, he asked if we could try again with lube. I wanted to smack myself, duh! So I said okay and he lubed up my hole and he reentered and this time it was 100 times less painful.
*sidenote-you know that feeling you get when you're getting a tattoo? That it hurts so good feeling? That's what this felt like.*
So we were in doggy-style and he pulled out and told me to turn over. Okay, so I did and he entered me in the missionary position and proceeded to ram the fuck out of me. Let me just say it hurt so good that I came before he was finished.
**It took me more or less three days for my asshole to get back to a normal feeling. Your ass is guaranteed to hurt after anal sex. Common sense.
Anyways, now that you have this mental image of me having anal sex, haha, I want to tell you why it hurt initially and some Dos and Don'ts when you are having anal sex.
Dos:
-Wear a condom - provides a barrier, most are lubricated, it's just safer.
-Lubricate!!! - seriously that was probably our initial biggest mistake only relying on the condom's lubrication, it hurt because there was too much friction and not enough glide. Lube it up and you will be golden.
-COMMUNICATE - if it doesn't feel good tell him!, if he is about to enter your vagina instead of your anus tell him and help him position it in the right place, LADIES: nothing could be worse than his penis going straight from your anus to your vagina because you didn't tell him or help him out.
-Wash up after it is all over. Seriously though, why wouldn't you?
-Change condoms before switching back to vaginal intercourse, Ladies, I know you don't want the poop bugs/bacteria up in your vagina, especially since they can cause the UTIs (Urinary Tract Infection), Yeast Infections, and other gross bacterial infections.
Don'ts:
-Don't Bareback, unless you fully understand what you are getting yourself into.
-Don't do it without lubrication...with anal sex lubrication will be your best friend, after his penis.
-Don't let him switch from your anus to your vagina without changing condoms/cleaning up. If you do allow him to do this ladies-get ready for a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), Yeast Infection, and/or anything bacterial related to creep up on your vagina.
-Don't go blindly into this. Try to look things up prior, to lessen the amount of discomfort you will experience.
-Don't do it if you don't want to, the choice is yours!
**There will be initial pain, that's just a plain fact. I mean you are thrusting something that is bigger than what the hole is used to on a daily basis. Common sense. So just keep that in mind.
In the end, as I have stated multiple times, the choice to have anal sex is up to you and your sexual partner. I think that anal sex is an acquired taste, but I really enjoy it. When I say that anal sex is an acquired taste, I mean a lot of people have had horrific experiences with it and don't want to try it again, ever, because that's how they think it will always be, painful. I feel like most of those horror stories stem from the fact that the sexual partners did not have access to lubrication and/or really think in depth about what they were about to do. I think for anything you plan on doing sexually you should at least know some facts about it before just diving in. I really feel like more people would enjoy anal sex if they could get over that initial pain stage and fully succumb to the pleasure that you can receive out of it, with lots of lube.
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