In his words to answer my tweet he said, "Mostly it depends on how serious a guy is about doing the caressing. Honestly, I think for guys even masturbating is such a routine function that 90% of the time, there's very little extracurriculars...Men are biologically evolved to be more visual in these areas than women. I think you'll find that the vast majority of guys CAN'T masturbate like that [without a visual]. Without some sort of visual stimulus, a lot of guys can't get there [achieve masturbatory orgasm]. At least not unless they're really worked up already."
If this is the case, I think it's a shame. I believe because I have had so much sex with myself, I find just the sensation of touching myself slowly, mindfully and sensually is so sexy and sometimes soothing. My end goal isn't always to masturbate, but to just feel the sensation of fingers on skin. By touching myself, I don't just mean my vagina and breasts. I mean dragging my fingers lightly up and down my arm, over my belly, etc.
For me, it is almost meditatively done. You have to let go of the thought of what you are physically doing and just feel it. Sometimes I will even close my eyes and imagine it is someone else's hand, knowing full and well that it is my hand, but allowing that dream like state to take it to another level...No, I am not on drugs when this happens, I am just very in tune with my own body and what feels good and how I can make myself feel good.
My male friend found this very curious and asked, "When you do this, are you usually working purely off a mental fantasy? aka not watching porn, reading something, etc?"
Right. No porn or books. While those two things may give me a visual outright, a lot of the time I just let my imagination flow and listen to my body more than try to picture a man in my mind. Whatever flashes in my mind at the time is what works best for me. It could even simply be the idea of a strong man's hand, nothing else corporeally. The strong man's hand tracing the fingers up and down my side from shoulder to hip, grazing and pinching my nipples, etc. Again, this is more about the sensation and how it makes me feel. I feel very sexy in my own skin and if someone else does not have the pleasure to explore it, self exploration will have to do for now.
My male friend after listening to all of this said, "You sound like the goddamn Jedi Master of self love and I'm slightly envious, lol."
Me:
This is what happens due to the fact that I have been celibate for 5.5 years now. I am so in-tune with my own sexuality and truly love my body. Being body positive and sex positive are some things I really strive for on a daily basis. At 27 years of age, I am confident and sexy in the skin I am in and truly hope that it stays that way.
For the people who read this post, I encourage you to touch yourselves more often! Learn what works and what doesn't for you. This is an important act of self love and self awareness and everyone should experience that, often.
