Hello readers! :) It has been a while...four months to be exact. There is a very good reason for why I have not been on the radar of my blog recently, MAY 10, 2013, I COMPLETED TWO UNDERGRADUATE DEGREES AT EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY AND GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!!! Sorry not sorry about the all-CAPS of excitement because I was so busy with school work and really trying to stay on track, that I literally had time for nothing else but my coursework. I am surprised I even fit in any time at all for a social life my last semester, haha. Anyways, so onto tonight's blog topic...per usual this is a sexually related topic.
Tonight, I am going to talk about why I think it is, not only okay, but I think important to talk about sex.
Last night a friend of mine was talking about how her and her friends try to talk to each other about their sexual experiences and how the conversations were not forced, but they were awkward and bashful chatter. After she shared her remarks, I told her about, how in high school, I was the girl in my small group of friends who was still a virgin and would hear about every bloody thing my friends were doing sexually. I mean there were no filters or things left to the imagination and for me being on the other end of that conversational exchange...never even experienced a man's touch until the spring of my senior year of high school...I was intrigued.
I wish more people, in general, would just talk about sex openly with others. An example of how easy it is to talk about it is the many ways I described the word sex back in my blog post from 2011. I know writing it online is a very passive and impersonal way of going about it, but it is a start.
I feel like some of the reasons we have issues with teen pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and just flat out too high of expectations when it comes to sex based on pornography's standards is because people do not talk about it.
I will start with saying, I think abstinence being implemented in the school systems is the worst idea to try and implant or ingrain into a person's mind. By not talking about sex, learning about the affects (pre and post) and safe sex practices, I think we are hurting more than helping the population. Now I know several people may shout at me things along the lines of, "well my religion believes...I am not allowed to talk about it because my religious text says it is an abomination..." This should not be a religious debate. EVERYONE HAS SEX! Whether our sexualized nation would like to admit it or not, people are doing it. It is in our primal state of being to procreate, or the intention to reproduce. The smart thing to do is to wise up to this knowledge and protect everyone from potentially harming themselves and understanding sexual practices and what is safe to use and what is not and other such facts. I don't think there should be an option to "opt out" of sexual education because this is a health and safety thing, not a religious thing. I applaud those with strong religious values, but as a Christian myself, I tend to side with science on things of this nature and how realistically it is more important to be educated on sexual health.
With that said, talking with your friends about your sexcapades, I think is a fantastic thing to do! This breaks that awkward grey area of, *cue internal thought: I know my friends are having sex, but I am curious if they have ever faked an orgasm...Do they ever get the urge to pee while having sex?...Am I the only one who has had anal sex?...I wonder how Paul is in bed...I wonder if Michelle likes being eaten out...* Things like that. I mean I know it can be awkward at first, but I was blessed with some friends who, like myself, really have no filter or barrier when it comes to talking about sex and we would say things that did or did not work out and how someone was in bed. It is also very interesting to hear about same-sex sexcapades. I think I just attract the gays/lesbians (not in the fact that I think I am so sexy and they all want to do me, no) because they are some of the best friends I have ever made and they have just as many awkward or interesting experiences as straight people. They also tend to just tell you everything, whether you want to hear it or not. I find it fascinating and something to learn, whether a girlfriend of mine is telling me about oral sex or how a guy made his boyfriend cum by hitting the g-spot between the anus and the scrotum. You can learn a lot from the gays! Just be willing to sit down with them and listen...They listen to enough of our shit, so it is refreshing (at least to me) to hear what their sexual experiences are like in comparison.
Once people can get past the awkwardness of mentioning the word sex, the taboo and stigma sometimes associated with the word can be minimized. Once people start talking about sex, there should be the want to explore information about it, like the perks, the consequences if practiced unsafe, etc.
There should also be a coming to Jesus for everyone who thinks that sex is exactly like a porn. If you think sex is going to be like in a porn, you are sadly mistaken. If you are basing your sexual experiences off of what you have seen in porn, your basing experiences on acting...Porn stars are cast based on how they look touching themselves, the facial expressions they make, what they sound like when they supposedly orgasm...I mean, no. Just please do me a favor and make your sexual experiences original and think about pleasing yourself and your partner, not how to please them based on how James Deen did it in that porn you saw last week.
Okay, since I could talk about this until I run out of breath or in this case, lose sensation in my hands, I will end on a simple note. If you are sexually active, or planning to have sex, use protection, know what are possible after-effects and try to be well-informed on the risks and benefits. Lastly, enjoy it! ;)
