It's 2017

My "Gal With A Plan" 2017 Planner

Happy New Year! It is 2 January, 2017! While many people tend to head to their local gyms to purchase new memberships or set some other hefty, high-level goals in this month, I have been thinking about other things that have preoccupied my mind as of late.

The first being that the sex gods and goddesses are really cracking jokes at me! As most of you know the majority of my previous blog posts have been centralized around a topic related to sex. Usually my sex life. I am very transparent about my sex life and honestly do not think it is a terrible thing to open up and talk about with others. As I would have it, I have not had sex with another human being since January 2012. You read that right. It has been five years since my last intrepid coital experience. A lot has happened in my life since 2012, but not much to do with sex. I say the sex gods and goddesses are really cracking jokes at me because this is what I won while playing a New Year's game at a friend's house this past Sunday (early, like right after the clock struck midnight, early) morning:

The airplane bottle of vodka was not even part of my winnings! There just happened to be a person at the party who did not drink who passed that along to me. For someone who has not had sex in five years to receive two condoms, where I could have scored some chocolates or airplane bottles of liquor, this just seemed like a joke. 😂

And yet, that is okay. At a mature enough age, in my early 20s I realized that I am better off doing sex solo than becoming emotionally attached to someone and only sleeping with them once. So, these two condoms may end up expiring and never used, but that is okay with me. I would rather use a condom (or two) when I am mentally, emotionally, physically and consensually ready to do it.

In the past two years I have been off of my blog posts because I really did not think there was too much to blog or talk about. A lot of great things happened and a few shitty things happened, but I found more solace in talking to close friends about my experiences rather than posting them here. In the past two years, I changed jobs, moved back in with my parents, was sexually assaulted at a friend's house party in September 2015, regularly attended my favorite local music festival Shakori Hills, competed in my first Rugged Maniac, successfully completed a year-long diabetes prevention program, was a stage kitten for multiple local burlesque shows, celebrated many friends' weddings and birthdays and births of new additions to their families, felt the secondhand effects of family drama, volunteered with Mental Health America and Durham Crisis Response Center, but most importantly, in the past two years I really think I have rediscovered myself. 

It is easy to skip over the sexual assault line in my last, long sentence, but it is something that haunted me for a while and sometimes still does. I will not go into full details on what happened because you already know the details, if I trusted you enough to tell you.

Sex means a lot to me and to have been violated by something I actually enjoyed, left me unable to really form words about it. I was disgusted with myself, with my body and with my friends in whom I tried to confide in, but brushed me off. I learned who I could open up to fully and trust with topics of discussion like sexual assault and who I just needed to intentionally shut out of that part of my life. I still sometimes feel fearful when a guy friend slinks in close beside me and brings up personal intimacy, which then becomes the topic of conversation surrounding myself. Luckily, I found friends who I could confide in, trust and they loved me and supported me through it all. For those friends, I am forever grateful and I love you! 💖 They were a huge part of my healing process. Another part that helped me was finally having the opportunity to volunteer with Durham Crisis Response Center (DCRC) as a hospital advocate for domestic violence and sexual assault victims. I have seen, experienced and supported others through their hospital experiences and in a way, it has helped me book-end my experience by helping others. 

Along with volunteering at DCRC, I also volunteered with Mental Health America (MHA) of the Triangle for a year as a Compeer Volunteer and came to the realization that working in mental health is not what I feel comfortable with doing for the rest of my life. I find more complete wholeness in the volunteer work I am doing with DCRC and I was not getting those same vibes with MHA. Whilst volunteering, I told many friends of my work and how this would help me with my selection of graduate school programs. One friend in particular helped me reaffirm my faith in going back to study sexual health counseling/therapy. Thank you for that, Katy Ross! I really needed that and really appreciated that in our long discussion when you were in town. 😊 So now in 2017, I am one month and one day away from taking the GRE in the hopes that taking that exam will be a part of the application I send off to the two schools who are asking for it. I despise standardized tests, especially since it will have little to nothing to do with my field of study, but if taking it will help me be the best contender for my dream school, then I will take it.

2017 has a lot in store for me, going to the Women's March on Washington, taking the GRE in February, going to Mardi Gras in NOLA with my best friend, spending my birthday at Shakori with my Shakori family 💖💖💖, going to the beach for a week with my family and applying to grad school. All the while following through with my New Year's Resolution of dancing more! 💃💃💃 It's 2017, I can do this!